Don't Laugh At Me
by GraphXButterfly
Summary: a what-if story. What if Kathryn's childhood wasn't like the one in Mosaic, what if her teenage years were different much different and she'd been keeping a secret from her crew and Chakotay? And, though a strange sequence of events she is forced to tell
1. Growing Up

Don't Laugh At Me

Chapter One: Growing Up

Synopses: This is a bit of a what-if story. What if Kathryn's childhood wasn't like the one in Mosaic, what if her teenage years were different much different and she'd been keeping a secret from her crew and Chakotay? And, though a strange sequence of events she is forced to tell the truth?

Disclaimer: Paramount owns Star Trek Voyager and the characters. The story idea is mine however, no profit is coming from this and no infringement is intended. This is for fun only.

-=/\=-

_2351: Janeway Household_

"Momma, when is Daddy going to be getting home?" Aqua eyes stared of from a canopy of auburn hair.

"I'm not sure Kat, why do you ask?" a tall slender brunet woman replied to the girl as she pulled herself up off the ground.

"No, reason really, I was just wondering that's all." A smile graced the girl's young features.

"Yes, always curious, that is a quality you have, it's a good one dear but you ought to be careful, it can get you into trouble sometimes." The woman stated while lifting up a basket.

Young Kathryn followed suite and picked one up as well. "I know, Momma." The girl laughed slightly.

Her mother stopped and looked her in the eyes, she brushed some of the wild auburn locks away from her face, "I know you do."

The two smiled to each other before they passed though the large door of their manner. As the pair entered the house a girl of eleven skipped up to them.

"I beat you home." She smiled her grey eyes sparkling. Brown curls framed the child's face.

The older girl laughed slightly and knelt down to the level of the child. Aqua eyes met grey, and she said, "No you didn't Pheeb, Momma and I were out back working in the garden. She motioned to the basket she held. "I was home twenty minutes ago."

The young girl frowned, "I thought I'd won today, how'd you get home so fast?" she was curious and her head tilted to the right slightly.

"Well, my school let out early today that's how." She stood and started towards the kitchen but her mom took the basket from her.

Phoebe took in her sisters words and then asked, "How come, Kat?"

"It was an early day that's all," Kathryn responded and looked towards her mother who'd reappeared from behind the doors to the kitchen.

"Oh," the child stated as if she understood then turned to face their mother as well. "Momma, can I have a brownie?" she asked hopefully.

Gretchen smiled and shook her head, "No Phoebe not before dinner, you know that." She walked back into the kitchen and before the door closed she called out, "Besides, you wouldn't want to spoil your appetite for spaghetti would you?" she raised her voice some towards the end to ensure she was still able to be heard behind the closed door.

Phoebe's face lit up at the revelation of spaghetti, "Kat, we're goanna have spaghetti for dinner." Her voice was an excited whisper.

Smiling the older girl said, "I know I heard." She sent a wink to the child, "who do you think talked Momma into it?"

Phoebe giggled as her sister started to head towards her bedroom. The child realizing that she was leaving called out, "Kat?"

Kathryn sighed and turned back around, "Yes Pheeb?"

The brown-haired child looked down then back up, "can you play with me? I want to play dolls, and I got no one to play with." She set her face into a masterful puppy pout; her impish features accenting the pitiful look.

Kathryn was a bit annoyed, Phoebe always wanted to play dolls, or be the center of attention; it was fun when they were younger, but she was a teenager now and was too old to be playing dolls like a child. "It's 'I have no one to play with,' and I can't I have homework to do."

"Please play with me." The child pleaded as tears started to pool in her eyes, she'd asked her sister to play with her the previous day and she had told her no then, and now she was telling her no again. Phoebe loved her sister and wanted to spend all the time she could with her. She looked up to her and wanted to be just like her. "You told me no yesterday."

Kathryn sighed, "Phoebe, I have to do my homework."

"You always got homework, and you never spend time with me anymore, why Kat!" Tears were falling down her cheeks, and her words were coming out choppy.

The fact she was crying just annoyed Kathryn more, "Well Phoebe, I'm in high school and high-schoolers have a lot of homework, and they don't have time to play dolls with their littler sisters." Her words were harsher then she'd intended but she was too irritated to really care.

At the sound of her words Phoebe's crying became more intense, "I hate high school, it too my sister from me, I never want to go there it's a horrible place cause it makes people change." She screamed as she ran into her room and slammed the door loudly.

Upon hearing the commotion Gretchen came out of the kitchen, "Kathryn, what's going on? Why was Phoebe screaming like that?" Her gentle voice asked as she approached the teen.

"She's just mad because I told her I had to do my homework and I couldn't play dolls with her. She's acting spoiled again." Kathryn simply supplied.

Gretchen fought the urge to roll her eyes, "Kathryn, don't say that about your sister. She isn't acting spoiled she's acting eleven. I'll go and talk to her about why you can't play dolls right now. She's just not used to you being busy all the time. You are growing up, she just doesn't understand." Gretchen placed her hand on the girls shoulder and looked her over for a moment. She then smiled, "I've got an idea."

"What's that Momma?" she asked looking into her mother's eyes.

"Well you're too old for dolls, so why don't you find something that the two of you could do together?" she raised her eyebrows some, letting her know it was really more than just a suggestion. "Something that is more appropriate, not too young for you, and not too old for her?"

The girl offered a half hearted smile she didn't really like the idea, "I'll think about it Momma, but right now I need to do my homework, I told Phoebe that I was going to do it, and I don't want to lie to her.

Gretchen nodded and smiled, "Alright sweetie, I'll go and explain why you can't play dolls."

"Thank you Momma," with that she turned and made her way to her bedroom. Gretchen watched as she vanished behind the door and then went to explain growing up to Phoebe.

-=/\=-

Author's Note: Alright like one of my other stories I have started to revise this one, the content of it is still the same, I'm just updating it a bit to provide better descriptions and correct some errors that were in the original. Please hang in there as I do this. I promise that I will have the whole story back up soon.

Also I'm sorry that I have been absent for a while and haven't been updating my other stories, life has been a little crazy. My grandfather just over month ago had to have a triple bi pass surgery and an aortic heart valve replacement, and I have been staying at my Aunts House and haven't had much time until now to work on anything. I decided to rework this so that I can finish it though. I hope that you've enjoyed this story and I hope that you continue to read it.

Thank you very much

GraphXButterfly


	2. Lectures

Chapter Two: Lectures

-=/\=-

_2373: Voyager's Sickbay_

The room filled with light as the Doctor walked out of his office and instructed the computer to raise the light level. He silently made his way to the sleeping from that lay in the surgical bay. Slowly he walked around to the left side of the bed and gently pressed a hypo-spray to her neck. Her eyes opened and looked around briefly before she settled on where she was. She looked up and into the Doctor's face. "What happened?" Her voice was groggy, she moved her hand up to hold her head as she winced in pain.

"You passed out in your ready room, when you didn't come out at the end of your shift the commander went to check on you. You were on the floor for nearly three hours." Her eyes opened a little wider as she tried to pull herself into a sitting position; only to be prevented from doing so by the Doctor's hand. "Captain please lay still for just a little longer; you had a nasty concussion from hitting your head when you fell. I believe that I have repaired all of the damage but you'll probably have a headache." She nodded while the Doctor grabbed another hypo-spray and pressed it to her neck. The pounding in her head reduced to a mild throb.

"Why did I pass out?" she questioned him. She wanted to know what was wrong with her. She looked directly into his eyes, "Am I sick?" She was becoming worried; she had no time to be sick.

"Oh no Captain, you're in perfect health." He sated knowing full well that she wasn't going to be too happy with his tone.

She fixed him with a glare, "If I'm in perfect health then why did I pass out?"

He stood back on his heels and gave her a look of his own, "Perhaps you can answer that yourself, when was the last time you ate?"

"I don't remember," she stated looking down at her hands suddenly finding them more interesting than anything else in the room. Yes, she knew where this was going.

He continued "and furthermore, when was the last time you slept?"

"Last night" she supplied quickly, she defiantly knew where this was heading.

"How much sleep did you get?" he inquired.

She bit her lip "about an hour or two."

He raised his eyebrow, "and the night before?"

"The same" she sighed, and was moving her hands back and forth on top of each other.

"Captain, I really am getting tired of saying this but, I'll say it again, how do you expect to keep running this ship and taking care of everyone on it if you don't take care of yourself? I understand that you've been busy assisting with repairs and helping B'Elanna get the warp drive back online." He paused to take a breath, a simulated one for dramatic effect. "But, you need to eat at least one meal a day, I'd prefer if it would be two but at least one, also you need to be getting six hours of sleep. From my readings you haven't slept but nine hours in the last four days, and you haven't eaten in the last two." He paused again to judge her reaction. She was still looking down at her hands. "Now I am relieving you from duty for the rest of today and tomorrow, that means no helping with repairs; B'Elanna is going to just have to get the engines back online herself."

She's had enough, sitting up she locked eyes with him, "Doctor I can't just sit around and do nothing. What if the aliens come back? We're sitting ducks out here and the sooner we get out of this region of space the better. B'Elanna needs my help." Her voice was extremely serious.

"You won't be of any help if you pass out again from sleep deprivation or low blood sugar. Now, I am relieving you of duty, and if you don't stay off duty then I will confine you to sickbay. Understood?" He knew he had her; she would rather face a caravan of Borg vessels then to be confined to sickbay. She took a deep breath but held her tongue, keeping herself from saying something she knew she would regret later. The Doctor was right but that still didn't make her feel any better. The Ragnas were not that far away, and Voyager had scarcely managed to escape the last attack. All they knew about them were their name and that they did not like people being in their territory; it didn't matter the reason. Voyager was now hiding behind a moon, disguising itself in its magnetic field. Kathryn only nodded, "All right then I'll call Chakotay and have him come to escort you back to your quarters. I'm releasing you to his care."

Her head snapped up from looking at her hands, she'd dropped her gaze some time before, "Why Chakotay?"

He suppressed a smile, "well being that he was the one that found you, I thought that it would be a good idea to let him know that you're fine. Also, I know that he'll make sure that you eat, go to bed at a decent our, and stay off duty. Any other person on this ship, with the exception of maybe Tuvok, would let you go back on duty if you ordered them too. I know that he won't back down no matter what you threaten him with." He was awfully smug about what he was saying.

She took a deep breath and clinched her teeth together; once again he had her, had he put anyone else in charge of escorting her back to her quarters that's exactly what she'd do. The only person that she would not be able to pull rank over was Chakotay. The Doctor knew her too well. She gave him a curt nod and a death glare as he called for Chakotay to come and retrieve her. She was dizzy but didn't show that she was in case the Doctor decided that she wasn't quite fit to leave.

After a short while the doors parted to reveal Chakotay. He had a worried look on his face. The Doctor smiled reassuring him, "She's fine Commander, in fact she is in perfect health, aside for the concussion she gave herself." His tone was very upbeat, this only made the glare she'd still had fixed on him deepen. Chakotay too note and decided that he was telling the truth, "And before you ask the reason she passed out is because she's been neglecting herself for the ship again." He emphasized the last word, causing the glare to become even more menacing. He took little notice as he walked over to Chakotay. "I'm leaving her in your care, I want you to make sure she eats something, and gets to bed at a descent hour. Also make sure that she cuts her coffee down, I think that ten cups is a little excessive, it's no wonder she hasn't been sleeping."

Chakotay noticed her glare deepen, if that were even possible, at his order for her to drink less coffee. He forced himself not to laugh as he spoke. "Alright Doctor, I'll make sure she eats and goes to bed, but I'm not sure I can guarantee the coffee though." He turned to look at Kathryn, "You ready?"

She nodded and pushed herself off the bio-bed and hurried past the Doctor. She stopped next to Chakotay and nodded for him to follow her out. "Let's get out of here before he says anything else." She stated in a low tone, only loud enough for Chakotay to hear.

Chakotay nodded to the Doctor and they both quickly left sickbay, as they left the Doctor remembered something that he wanted to say; he opened his mouth to say it and before the words could come out they were gone.

-=/\=-

The pair made their way towards the turbo lift. As they walked she spoke, "Chakotay?"

"Yes?" He responded fairly sure what was coming next.

She didn't disappoint him any, "Thank you from coming and getting me out of there. I can go to my quarters myself," she stated stopping to look at him. Her 'captain's' mask was firmly in place.

He reached his hand up to his ear; he knew what she was planning. "Sorry I Can't do that, you know what the Doctor's orders were, I'm to feed you and make sure you get a good night's sleep."

She fixed him with a hard look; she stared at him for what seemed like ages before she spoke. Her voice was low and direct. "Commander, I am perfectly capable of doing those things on my own. I am a grown woman after all." She crossed her arms in front of her and lifted her chin.

He was trying not to laugh, she was obviously very upset by the whole situation but the way she was acting made him think of a spoiled child. "I'm not saying that you aren't, but, that doesn't mean that you won't leave your combadge in your quarters and go about the ship anyway.

Her gaze left his and fell to her hands, 'how come everyone knows what I'm going to do? I have to start doing different things, I'm becoming to predictable.' She thought to herself. She took a breath and looked up briefly. He really wasn't going to leave her alone. Giving in she finally said, "Alright where do you want to eat, my quarters, your quarters, or the mess hall?" Her tone was melancholy.

Taking note of her mood, he opted for someplace more private then the mess; he also didn't want her to feel uncomfortable so he decided the perfect place. "How about your quarters, I'll cook."

She looked up at him once more a half hearted smile playing on her lips. Though her eyes still said that she was in a terrible mood, "That's probably a good idea; I'd rather not end up back in sickbay again today."

Chakotay smiled and laughed lightly, he would have offered his arm out to her but she'd resumed their walk towards the lift with her hands folded in front of her. The two entered the lift, she was upset that she was being treated like a child, but all she had to do is suffer through the rest of the night and next day with _mother hen,_ and then she'd be somewhat free. She knew the Doctor as well as Chakotay would continue to watch her like a hawk.

-=/\=-

The journey was short and soon they were in her quarters. Chakotay made his way to the kitchen and Kathryn made herself comfortable on the couch. She was tired but knew better then to close her eyes. If she were to fall asleep on the couch she would very much regret it by morning.

She was starring out into space for what seemed like only moments when the sensation of a hand touching her back caused her to jump. "Kathryn," she relaxed as she heard the voice. She turned her head to look at him, "I didn't mean to startle you but dinner is ready."

"Already?"

"Yeah I hope you like it." She smiled slightly as she took his hand, she wasn't mad any longer; she knew they were only trying to help and were worried about her. He helped her to her feet and escorted her to the table. She took her seat and he went to grab their meal. He came back holding two plates; he placed one down in front of her and then set his down across from her taking his seat at the same time.

"This looks wonderful." She stated as she gazed at her plate, a hefty portion of lasagna was spooned into the center of it. She picked up her fork and dipped it into the warm heap. It was then that she noticed how hungry she actually was. She placed it to her lips and tasted it. She smiled, "This is really good." She then proceeded to take larger bites.

Chakotay watched as she ate very quickly. He contributed that to the lack of food in her system, but he was scared that she would make herself choke if she didn't slow down. "Well I'm glad that you're enjoying it, but if slow down you're going to choke." He chuckled slightly, it was the first time he'd ever seen her eat that fast.

She stopped and put her fork down and swallowed the large bite that she'd placed in her mouth. She was slightly embarrassed and looked down, "Sorry, it's just, I didn't realize how hungry I actually was."

"That's the funny thing about hunger, after a while you stop feeling it until you see or smell food, then you go ballistic." He was smiling broadly, "I think that's the first time I've ever seen you eat that fast. He started to laugh but stopped quickly as he received a glare from her. "Sorry" he stated. She nodded once in acknowledgement of his apology. She then picked up her for and finished her meal careful to monitor how fast she was eating.

Once they had both finished Chakotay cleared the table, Kathryn again made herself comfortable on the couch starring out at the stars. She heard Chakotay come over but didn't turn to face him. She felt him sit down next to her; there they sat in silence for what seemed like ages. He watched her. Her body was hunched over and her breathing was shallow, she looked very troubled. "Kathryn, what's wrong?" he questioned in a soft tone.

She shifted some but still didn't look at him, he watched as she took a deep breath before she spoke. Her words came out in a smooth even tone, though quiet. "It's nothing," she paused, "I just don't like not being able to help. We're sitting ducks out here, if the Ragnas find us there isn't going to be a whole lot we can do." Her head dropped some, "with the warp core offline we can't even out run them again."

He knew where she was coming form, he was no use helping with the core, so it didn't really matter if he was off duty or not, but, Kathryn was extremely helpful and would be able to help B'Elanna finish a lot sooner. She was also right about the Ragnas; the only reason that Voyager was still in once peace was because their ships couldn't fly faster than warp five. With the last attack Voyager had managed to get away, but nearly all of the systems were damaged, including the core. They were able to get far enough away that they were safe but then the core went offline. "I know, but you have to understand that you need to take care of yourself as well, I mean you can't take care of the ship if you're sick. What if you'd been climbing in the Jeffries Tubes when you passed out? You'd probably be dead."

She sighed, "You're starting to sound just like the Doctor." Her voice reminded him of a sour child. "And I have heard this same lecture more than enough times; I've heard it so much that I can quote it word for word." She was getting annoyed again so he decided to back off.

"Alright, I'll stop laying parent." He stopped and thought for a moment, "I have an idea."

She peered at him from over her shoulder; the tone his voice carried caught her attention. "Yes?" she asked her eyebrow was raised.

"What would you say to a massage?" He watched as shock played on her face, he decided to back up his suggestion, "It would help you sleep, and if you manage to get enough sleep tonight, I might be able to persuade the Doctor into letting you help B'Elanna tomorrow." He finished with a wide dimpled grin.

He'd done it; he had managed to catch her at a week moment. She nodded, she was sore and still had a headache and she'd suddenly become very tired. His dimples also didn't help matters any.

"Okay, you go and get in your pajamas, and I'll be there in a moment." She nodded once more. He offered his hand out to her and she took it. She slowly walked into her sleeping area after being lifted off the couch. Once inside she shed her uniform and slipped on a simple nightgown. It was baby blue and nearly stretched to the ground, ending mid calf. She heard Chakotay from the other room, "You ready?"

"Yes" She called out. She was still trying to figure out what had possessed her to agree to his idea.

He walked into the room, "Please lay down" he'd turned down her nicely made bedcovers and she slipped in between them. She curled her hands under the pillow and her head. Chakotay pulled the blankets up to just beneath the small of her back. As soon as she was comfortable he went to work. His strong hands worked every muscle; he could hear her sigh and groan as he worked the worst knots on her shoulders. After a while her soft sounds ceased. He could feel that her body was completely relaxed and her breathing was shallow and uniform. Once he was sure she was sleeping soundly he pulled the covers over her. Before he left he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. On the way out he made sure to silence her alarm.


	3. Getting Things Back Together

Chapter Three: Getting Things Back Together

-=/\=-

_2351 Indiana_

A young auburn haired teenager sat on the edge of a fence; she looked deeply into the eyes of a young man. His blonde hair danced in the wind. "So what are you doing tomorrow?" The young man asked, he was hoping that she wasn't going to be busy.

She sighed and rolled her eyes, "I have to take my little sister out; Momma thinks it's a good idea for me to do things with her." She was very annoyed with her sister; she hated having to deal with her little tantrums. Frankly she just wanted to do what she wanted to do and not have to worry about entertaining her.

The young man felt for her, "I hate that, my father thinks that I should be spending every last moment of the day with my brother. He can be so annoying." He raised his eyebrows up as he spoke. He then hopped up onto the fence with the girl and took her into his arms. "It's really the pits sometimes."

She smiled as she snuggled into his embrace, "You're telling me." She turned and looked up at the young man a slight smile gracing her rose colored lips. He was very handsome to her and she loved everything about him, the way he smelled and the way he made her feel.

He looked deeply into her eyes, his head moved slowly down towards hers, their lips where just about to touch when a sound came from behind them. "Kat!" The pair broke apart quickly, Kathryn jumped down from the fence just in time to see a curly haired girl running down the hill.

She rolled her eyes and sent a sidelong glance in the direction of the boy then turned her attention back to the child. "What do you want now Pheeb?" She asked with her arms crossed in front of her, the annoyance in her voice wasn't disguised very well.

The girl ran up to her "Momma says that it's time to go into town." She looked up at the teenage boy a goofy grin forming on her young features, "Who's this?" she asked.

"His name is Jason," she stated quickly, "he's my friend." She looked back over her shoulder a helpless look crossing her young features.

Phoebe giggled slightly, as she eyed him suspiciously, "just your friend?" She was young but not that young.

"Yes, my friend. Now we'd better get going before Momma gets mad at us. You run ahead and tell her that I'm on my way." She ushered the child to run back up the hill. Once she was a safe distance away she turned her attention back to the young man who'd waited very patiently. She smiled meekly and looked into his eyes, "Sorry about that."

He flashed a toothy grin back at her, "It's alright." He jumped down off the fence and made his way closer to her now that the interruption was over. He leaned his head down towards her and pressed his lips softly against hers. The kiss slowly deepened, she could feel her body becoming warm in his embrace. Then from off in the distance she heard her name being called, "Kathryn…Kathryn."

-=/\=-

_2373 Voyager_

The sound came closer and closer she soon realized that it wasn't coming from the hill but from next to her. Her eyes opened cautiously and they fell upon those of Chakotay. She sat up quickly looking around. "Hey there," he said looking at her. "You must have really been tired."

She still felt somewhat disorientated still, "What… what time is it?"

"Nearly 1200 hours," he supplied, "I stopped by to see how you were doing. When you didn't answer the chime I let myself in, you were still sleeping."

She brushed her hair from her face, "Yeah, I must have been. It's been a while since I slept; guess I needed some catching up." She smiled; he was sitting very close to her. Her senses were still somewhat heightened from the dream she'd been having. She became aware of her proximity to him, "Um thank you for awakening me." She stated as she hurriedly moved to the other side of the bed and stood up.

Chakotay realized that he'd pushed her personal space a little more then he'd intended. He was flustered as well, "I'll go out to the living room, and let you change."

She nodded and once he left dropped back to the bed with a large sigh. She was very embarrassed herself. After a few moments she composed herself and got up to change. Once she was properly dressed she walked out to the living area, "So did you have that talk with the Doctor?"

"Yes, and he did agree that you can go help B'Elanna, provided that you eat and are back into bed at a proper hour. He stated, mimicking the Doctor almost perfectly.

A huge smile crossed her face, "Thank You" She stated.

"You're very welcome, now how about we get some food. The sooner we do that the sooner we can get moving again." His face was set in a wonderfully handsome grin. He offered her his arm, she took it and they walked to her doorway together. Once at the threshold she slipped her arm out of his and the pair made their way to the Mess Hall together.

-=/\=-

After a filling meal, Chakotay left her for the bridge; she made her way to engineering where B'Elanna was very grateful to see her. "Thank goodness you're hear Captain! I can really use your help." She looked very relieved and was being extremely truthful, both of them were very capable women and worked very well together. She knew that things would get done much faster if the two of them were working instead of just one.

"I'm very glad that I can be here, the Doctor got a bit over protective of me yesterday, and well you know how he can be." She laughed slightly then hopped down to where B'Elanna was the two of them then proceeded to work on the core. After what seemed like ages the core hummed back to life. The women let out a sigh of relief. They were mobile again. "Great work Lt." Kathryn beamed.

"Thank you, but I couldn't have gotten it done this fast without you." The two of them made their way back onto the main deck of engineering, hair, uniform, and face disheveled. They took note of each other's appearance and figured they each probably looked as bad as the other.

"I dare say it's time to get the hell out of this region of space." Kathryn simply stated, "I'll be on the bridge if you need me."

B'Elanna agreed and set about working on some of the other systems that needed repair, but at least the most important system was back up and running.

-=/\=-

Kathryn made her way to the bridge ordering a course out of the Ragnas region of space. Unfortunately for Voyager the Ragnas had caught up with them. No sooner did the Voyager move out from behind the moon they were fired upon. 'Damn it' Kathryn thought, "Tom get us out of here warp seven!"

"Yes Ma'am" Tom replied quickly as he pressed several buttons on the con. Voyager jumped to warp and thankfully the recently repaired warp core held. Voyager had managed to escape them once more.

Once they were out of immediate danger Kathryn called down to engineering, "How's the core holding up B'Elanna?"

Her disembodied voice rang though the bridge as she responded, "We had some minor fluctuations, but it seems to be holding."

"Very good B'Elanna, keep me informed, Janeway out." She closed the link, and then turned her attention to her tactical officer, "Tuvok, keep an eye out for the Ragnas, if you see any sign of them let me know. Chakotay you have the bridge, I'll be in my ready room." She soon disappeared behind the doors leaving Chakotay in charge of the bridge.


	4. Unexpected Visitors

Chapter Four: Unexpected Visitors

-=/\=-

_2373 Voyager_

Days had passed and it looked as if Voyager had finally made their way out of the Ragnas space, much to the delight of the crew as well as their Captain. However, the constant attacks had left Voyager in a bit of a precarious position. It looked as if Kathryn Janeway would have to do something that she very rarely liked to do; she would have to give the order to land Voyager and conduct repairs.

They found an uninhabited M Class planet and were ready to land. Tom and Harry had scouted out the perfect location, and everyone was at their duty stations. "Alright Mr. Paris, easy as she goes," Kathryn stated. Everyone was holding their breath it seemed as Voyager slowly descended towards the planet's surface. After a few moments she touched down easily. Kathryn let out her breath, and then continued her orders, "Disengage the anti gravitational thrusters and lock down the engines." The sound of the core powering down filled the room.

Once Voyager was comply locked down she let out a low quiet sigh, they were landed it was now time to get to work. She started to bark out orders, letting everyone know what their duties were. Once she was content that everyone knew what their tasks were she retired to her ready room she herself had a lot of work to do.

-=/\=-

A few hours passed and her door chimed, "Come in" she stated evenly. She looked up to see her first officer, "Chakotay, what can I do for you?"

"I just thought that I'd come by and drop off my report, it appears that this planet is rich in flora and fauna, many of which could be used to increase our food stores." He walked over to her and handed her his padd.

Thank you" she smiled as she sipped her coffee. She began to read over the information that he'd presented her. She looked up; he appeared to want to say more. "Is there anything else?"

"Actually I was thinking this might be a good time to do some R and R rotations. It's been a while since we've set down someplace, and I thought it'd be a good idea and a great moral booster if people could get off the ship and stretch their legs some." He was hoping that she'd say yes.

"I think that's a great idea. We can do two shifts, those that are on R and R and those that are helping with repairs. It has been a while since we've gotten some down time and some R and R may just boost efficiency." She took another sip of her coffee and then placed the cup down on her desk. "I'll give the project to you, also set up some teams to gather up food stores." She placed the padd down onto her desk and brought her hand up to her neck and rubbed it some. She hadn't slept much in the last few days.

"I'll get right on it" he paused for a moment, her actions to sooth her muscles didn't go unnoticed, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she stated smoothly, "Thank you for your concern." She smiled and he accepted her answer, but made a note to put her on the rotation as well; even the Captain needed some time away from the ship, though she'd never admit it. He turned to leave and was just about to the door, "Oh and Chakotay don't get any crazy ideas about putting me on the rotation. I have a lot of work to do, and I'm more valuable here than anywhere else.

He paused then turned to look at her, "That's true, but even the ship's Captain needs a rest. The ship is sitting here; it's not going to go anywhere. A few hours away isn't going to be the end of the world for her." He was really hoping that she'd give in this time.

She tilted her head to the left slightly as she looked at him, "I know, but I'm just not comfortable with the idea of leaving her." She was very serious.

He decided to try a different tactic. "Look, I think a few hours away would be really good for you. It'll let you have a chance to relax and refocus, a lot has happened in the last few months. Besides, you have a very capable crew." He looked down slightly and then back up to her, "And, I was kind of hoping you'd join me for a picnic." He flashed a dimpled smile in her direction. "I've found a nice waterfall near a pond that I thought would be a nice place for lunch. You do need to eat."

Kathryn rolled her eyes slightly, she then looked down for a moment with an amused grin; unfortunately he made a very good point. Looking up and shaking her head slightly she responded while pointing her finger at him, "Alright, but only for a few hours." He nodded then quickly made his way out of her ready room; he wanted to get out of there as fast as he could before she decided to change her mind about the whole thing.

-=/\=-

The next day Kathryn stood next to the pond. The water was very clear, so clear that you could see the bottom and all the fish that swam amongst brightly colored coral. The sun was arm and felt wonderful on her skin. A breeze blew though the air just enough to keep from being overly heated by the golden rays. The smell of fresh baked biscuits filled the air. "You're right Chakotay, it's beautiful" She took her place next to him on the blanket.

Chakotay just smiled and watched her; she was so beautiful; of course he wouldn't dare tell her that, it would be a 'breach of protocol.' Never the less he still took enjoyment in watching her. She grabbed a biscuit out of the basket and placed some honey onto it. She took a bite enjoying its sweet flavor. Her eyes grew wide as she looked in his direction, "This is really good."

"Thank you. It's my mother's recipe." He too grabbed up one and placed some sweet honey onto it. "I'm glad that you like it." The two of them spent a while there eating and enjoying the other's company. After a while Kathryn decided to stretch out under the warmth of the sun, she closed her eyes and was soon fast asleep.

-=/\=-

_2351 Janeway Household_

Young Kathryn quietly made her way back into her room though her bedroom window. She peered out only long enough to blow a kiss to the tall blonde boy who'd accompanied her that night. It was late and she was hoping that no one was up. She looked around and then made her way towards the bathroom; she washed the makeup off her face and then stared back down the hall towards her bedroom only to run into her sister. "Kat," the girl whispered, "what are you doing up?" The child wiped her eyes as she looked up at her sister.

"Nothing Pheeb, I couldn't sleep that's all" She stated calmly. The young woman's dress didn't go unnoticed by the child.

The child's face scrunched up some "Why do you have that dress on?" she whipped her eyes again; she was still very sleepy being that she'd just woken up moments before.

"I wanted to try it on to see if it still fit. I might wear it out one day." She smiled at the girl hoping that her explanation would appease her. She really didn't want to have to explain anything else to her.

Phoebe starred her over for a moment then decided that her sister was more than likely wasn't lying to her. The girl then proceeded to go to the bathroom and then back to her own bed. Kathryn breathed a sigh of relief and then made her way back to her room and quickly changed into her pajamas. 'That was a bit close' she thought to herself.

-=/\=-

_2373 Unnamed M Class Planet_

Kathryn turned over rolling off the blanket; she woke up at the sudden feeling of earth beneath her. She quickly sat up; the realization that she'd fallen asleep hit her. "What time is it?" she asked the sun had started to set. She looked next to her and saw that Chakotay too had just woken up.

"I'm not sure, but it looks like it's getting late and a storm is moving in." Chakotay took note and pointed towards the direction the storm was moving in from. They were a ways away from the ship and the transporters had been taken offline for repairs. Not long after he'd made his observation a loud clap of thunder and then a flash of lightning filled the sky. "I don't think we're going to make it back to the ship just yet." He called out to her.

"Something tells me you're right." Kathryn yelled back, the wind had picked up and another clap of thunder and flash of lighting filled the sky. She quickly grabbed up the blanket and basket, she spotted some caves, "This way!"

Chakotay followed her into the caverns; he gathered up some rocks and took out his phaser. He used his phaser to ignite the rocks so that they'd have some warmth. Kathryn tired to contact the ship. She looked behind her, "it's no use the storm is interfering with communications," she stated.

Not surprising" he stated as he scanned the mouth of the cave, "It's an ion storm, though it should be no problem for the ship, and I believe that we're the only ones off the ship at the moment." He stated letting her know that her crew would be safe.

"I guess all we can do is wait then." She took a seat on the ground in front of the fire. This wasn't exactly how she'd planned her rest and relaxation.

"Sounds like a plan to me," He sat down next to her. "Good thing I packed extra food." He grinned.

She gave him a lopsided smile, she was worried about her crew; she hated being away from them during any kind of disaster, even a minor one. Chakotay caught a note of her mood. "They'll be fine," he reassured her as he wrapped the blanket around both of their shoulders. "I think we should eat something and get some rest."

"You're right, we've been though far worse than a little ion storm." She took a small apple from the basket and started to eat. I'd been hours since she'd eaten she guessed. She wasn't really tired but aside from playing games of charades or guess what I'm thinking there wasn't much to do.

Kathryn pulled her knees in closer to her chest; it was getting cold despite the fire and the blanket. Taking note, Chakotay placed his arms around her, she stiffened some but soon realized why he'd done it and relaxed into his embrace. She felt warm and safe. It wasn't long before she drifted off to sleep once more.

-=/\=-

_2351 Janeway Household_

Kathryn stared out of her bedroom window, things were not going well. She was feeling sick again and was now very worried. She pulled her legs to her chest and lay her head down in the niche that it made. She had a really bad feeling that she knew what was wrong with her. She also knew that she was about to get into a whole world of trouble and this only made her feel more sick. There was a knock at her door. "Come in" her voice was a bit shaky as she pulled herself into a more normal position. She turned to see her father come into the room, "hi Daddy." Her hands were clasped loosely in her lap and her shoulders slumped. Her voice was wavering slightly.

"Hi" he stated in a very low tone. The look on his face confirmed her worst fears.

"Daddy" she looked him in the face as tears filled her eyes, "I… I'm so sor…"

Her father was normally a very calm man and rarely lost his temper but this was defiantly not something he'd ever been expecting. Especially not from her and for a brief moment he lost his temper. His fist slammed down on her desk with the words "Damn it Kathryn" emanating from his mouth at the same time as a very loud thud.

-=/\=-

_2373 Unnamed M Class Planet_

Kathryn was jarred awake; the sound was very loud and followed by a few more loud thuds. She jumped to her feet along with Chakotay, "What the hell was that!"

Chakotay had his tricorder out, "I'm detecting what appears to be a ship," he called out; the storm was loud and he had to yell just to be heard.

Her eyes grew very wide as she starred at him, "A ship?" Kathryn pulled her own tricorder out she scanned in the direction that Chakotay was scanning. Yes, she was indeed picking up a ship as well. Her eyes grew even more wide, "Chakotay, it's…"

"Federation" He finished for her as they locked eyes. Surely no one had come out looking for them in the storm. The two ran to the mouth of the cave, the ship wasn't too far from where they'd been previously; it was small and defiantly had not come from Voyager. Their eyes locked once more and the pair cautiously moved towards the vessel, scanning it, phasers drawn.

It's definitely a federation ship," Chakotay called out, he'd made it to the vessel before she had. "USS Condor," he'd managed to read the name of the vessel. Kathryn had caught up to him and started looking for an entrance.

She narrowed her eyes as she looked at him, "The Condor?" He nodded, just as she found an emergency hatch release, she pulled it and the door came open. She kept her phaser drawn as she entered the ship. Chakotay wasn't far behind her. She scanned the inside of the ship, "I'm detecting life sights, they're weak, three decks up." She tucked her phaser into the belt on her dress and began to climb up the emergency ladder.

She had already made it to the next hatch before he started to climb. He didn't' want to look up at her. She was sitting on her hunches trying to get the hatch to open. Once he reached her he took over and managed to open the hatch for her. She was about to start climbing again and he stopped her. "Perhaps I should go first." He motioned to her dress. She then realized that she wasn't completely covered from below and now understood why he'd hesitated.

She blushed and nodded, "Yes of course." She stated allowing him to take the lead. The two then climbed up two more decks and stopped. "I'm detecting five life signs, one Vulcan, and four humans." She turned to him, she was just as curious as he was.

Chakotay opened the final hatch and they stepped into what appeared to be the bridge. The room was very badly damaged; people were laying just about everywhere. Kathryn knelt down next to the person nearest to her. It was a young human male. He was unconscious but he looked as if he would be okay; the man next to him had severe injuries and too was unconscious.

There was a young woman strewn across the floor, she appeared to have several broken bones and some major cuts and burses on her head. "Chakotay, see if you can find me a med kit, this one is in pretty bad shape." She was careful not to move her too much.

He managed to find a med kit behind a bulk head and quickly handed it to her. He took some supplies and began to attend to the other two individuals that were injured. A human female and a Vulcan female, he managed to wake up the young human woman. Once her eyes opened she attempted to back away, Chakotay caught her arm, "It's alright, we're here to help." He said in a calming manner. "I'm Commander Chakotay of the USS Voyager, and you are?"

"Ensign Alyssa O'Malley, USS Condor." She stated, she looked around the bridge, "you must be from the ship we detected.

He nodded, "Alyssa, are there any more crewmembers, other than the ones up here?"

She nodded, her blue eyes looking him over, "Yes, in engineering."

"Are you well enough to take me there?" he asked and he backed away slightly so that she could attempt to stand.

The young woman checked herself over and then nodded. Kathryn heard the conversation and looked up to see who Chakotay was talking too. She then refocused her attention back to the woman she was trying to stabilize. She didn't dare move her; she only pressed hypo sprays into her neck in an attempt to get a more stable cardiac rhythm. Once she'd managed to do so she moved her attention to the man that lay next to her, she stabilized him as well.

"Captain, I'm going to go to engineering, apparently there's more people down there." He'd stood and helped the woman who was going to lead him there to her feet.

Kathryn nodded "I'll see if I can get systems back up from here. They all are stable for now." She called back as she made her way towards one of the consoles. She most certainly hadn't been expecting this when the two of them had started their outing.

Roughly thirty minutes later she had managed to get sensors back online; it appeared that the storm was lifting. She hit her combadge, "Janeway to Chakotay."

"Chakotay here Captain." He was assisting the young woman in helping the wounded that were in engineering.

"The storm has lifted, I'm going to try and contact Voyager to see if we can get a little help down here."

"That's a good idea; I've got four more wounded here, and three that didn't make it." He stated sadness not fully hidden in his voice. Kathryn's heart sank; it was never good to lose anyone, even if you didn't know them.

"Alright Chakotay, Janeway out," she cut the comm. link and then hit her combadge again, "Janeway to Voyager," she was hoping that they'd receive her.

"Voyager here, glad to hear that you made it through the storm alright," the voice of Tom Paris filled the room.

"Tom, I need you to send some shuttles to our location." She provided him with their position, "It appears that we're not entirely alone out here, another federation ship has crash landed and we've got seer wounded." She let him have a moment to process what she'd said.

After a few seconds Tom spoke, "On our way Captain, just hold tight. Paris out." He closed their com link. She couldn't help but roll her eyes slightly at his tone. She was brought back to where she was when the sound of a moan met her ears. It was coming from the woman that lay prone on the floor. Kathryn knelt down next o her taking the young woman's hand. She slowly turned her head towards Kathryn as she began to wake up.

She'd finally gotten a good look at the woman's face; Kathryn's mouth dropped open shock playing across her features. She was just about to say something when she heard the sound of footsteps. It was Tom.

"I heard that we had some unexpected visitors drop by." He joked as he knelt down to help. He took some of his own scans and then pressed a few more hypos into the young woman's neck, she drifted back to sleep. After a short time the passengers of the USS Condor were loaded into the shuttles and on their way back to Voyager.


	5. Uneasy Truths

Chapter Five: Uneasy Truths

-=/\=-

Kathryn didn't waist the time to change she was on the bridge almost as soon as she was back on Voyager. "I want an away team assembled, I want to find out just where that ship came from and how long it's been out here, and what happened to it. As soon as Voyager is back up and running I want full scans done. I also want a complete analysis of that storm understood?" she was acknowledged by several 'yes Captain's' she turned her attention to Chakotay, "I'll be in sickbay, Commander you have the bridge." With that she was gone.

In sickbay the Doctor was more than a little busy; Tom had accompanied him and with his and Kes' help things were getting taken care of. The one patient that had him the most concerned was the young red haired woman that Kathryn had been tending too. She was in very bad shape.

Kathryn appeared next to the Doctor, "How is she?" she asked curious as to how the young woman was fairing. She knew how severe her injuries were and wanted to see if she'd even pull though.

"At the moment I'm not sure; She has suffered massive injuries, the rest of them are stable and should make complete recoveries, but this one, I'm just not sure about." He stated.

That wasn't what she wanted to hear, Kathryn nodded and then looked around the room, the other crew members appeared to be in decent shape and were sleeping comfortably, "I would like to talk to them as soon as they're able too, Doctor."

He turned to look at her, "I would prefer if the questioning didn't start until the morning. They have all been though a lot and really need their rest."

She looked at him intently, "I understand," she responded, "Besides, it's not like any of us are going anywhere just yet." She had to keep that fact in mind, at the moment her own ship was still grounded and the other most certainly wasn't in any condition to be flow. She turned to star to leave but paused, "Doctor, could you keep me informed about her progress, her name is Crystal Baker."

He nodded, as he watched her leave a bit curious as to how she knew her name. He let it slide; maybe she'd accessed the crew manifest while she was on the other ship.

-=/\=-

Three days had passed since their unexpected visitors had dropped in on them. Since that time they'd found out that they too had been pulled into the Delta Quadrant against their will by the caretaker, and since then had run into their fair share of unfriendly races. They had lost more than half their crew.

The way they had come to be on the planet was that they'd picked up Voyagers signature and had moved in closer to get a better look and determine if they were truly federation or not. Their ship was caught in the ion storm which was far worse in the higher altitudes then it was on the surface. Most of the surviving crew had recovered and were comfortably resting in guest quarters, but there was still one that hadn't.

Kathryn stood looking at the woman from across sickbay. She most certainly hadn't figured on this. The Doctor hadn't heard her come in and was a bit surprised when he turned the corner and saw her standing at the console. "Captain, what can I do for you?"

"How is she?" Kathryn asked motioning to the young woman that lay in the surgical bay.

The Doctor looked down, "She's not doing well; some of her organs are beginning to shut down, primarily her lungs. I have her on life support, but if we don't get a replacement soon, she will die." He watched Kathryn for a moment; she seemed to be very upset by what he was saying. "I've already begun looking though the crew to see about finding a donor. So far I have been unsuccessful."

Kathryn's gaze fell to her hands that were resting on the consol. After a few moments she looked back up to the Doctor, "You're not going to find one among the crew."

He was taken aback for a moment, "I beg your pardon?"

She continued not addressing his question directly, "Well at least not among the crew you'd look at first." She knew that as Captain he would put her at the very bottom of the list, not wanting to risk her life in anyway. "There is only one person on this ship that is capable of giving her any form of transplant."

The Doctor was now more than just a little curious and interested, "Exactly who might that be?" he asked.

She squared her shoulders and looked him directly in the eyes, "That would be me."

It was the Doctor's turn to be taken a back; he looked at her slightly perplexed, "How exactly do you know that you are the only one?"

"Take a good long look at her Doctor and you tell me." She paused starring at him for a while as he took in what she was saying, "You also know that I have a very rare cofactor in my DNA and that, that cofactor is only passed down on the X chromosome." She took a pause to breath, "there is only one person on this ship that is able to donate to her, and that would be me."

The holographic man stood looking at her in amazement, he hadn't even noticed, but now knowing and looking at the two of them together it was obvious. He nodded to her, "I'll start preparations right away." He took pause only long enough to look her over, it was obvious she wasn't going to provide him with anymore information then he had at that moment. He then retired to his office to confirm what she'd just told him.

Once the Doctor was gone she turned back to face the young woman, she was still unconscious. 'How had it come to this?' She thought to herself as she made her way over to the lone figure. She took the young woman's hand into hers and brushed some of her curly hair away from her face. She was very beautiful, more so then she'd thought. Up until that point she had really only seen pictures of her. Kathryn was son in tuned to the woman's face that she didn't hear the doors open and then close. She jumped when someone's hand touched her shoulder.

"Sorry didn't mean to startle you," The man stated.

She turned to look at him, making sure to try and hide what she was feeling, she cleared her throat and then spoke, "What is it Commander?"

"We're ready to take off," he was watching her closely; there was something bothering her but he couldn't quite figure it out. She'd been acting somewhat off since they'd found the other ship.

"Alright," she said she nodded, on the way out she stopped briefly at the doors to the Doctor's office. "Let me know when you're ready for me."

"Right away," was what he responded with. His attention then returned to the monitor in front of him on his desk. The pair then proceeded to exit sickbay.

-=/\=-

Just outside of sickbay Chakotay fell into step next to her, "what exactly was that about?" It was obvious that he was concerned.

She paused just outside of the lift and took a deep breath. She looked down for a moment not sure how to word what she was going to say. Subconsciously she reached up and started to fidget with her combadge. After a few seconds she decided that the best thing to do was to just out right and say it. "She is going to die if she doesn't receive a lung; I'm going to give her one."

He watched as she quickly ducked into the lift, he was right behind her. She'd already punched in the code for the bridge. "What?" he asked more confused than anything else, "Surely there are other's on this ship that can give her one, why does it have to be you?" He was concerned for her safety not just because she was the captain of the ship, but she was a very valued friend and he loved her greatly.

She sighed not really wanting to provide too much information. "There is no one else on this ship that can, besides I'd never forgive myself if I didn't." Thankfully the lift stopped and the doors opened. She was out the doors long before Chakotay could formulate a response. The Captain's mask was firmly in place, "Report?" she barked.

"All systems ready to go Captain," Tom stated he checked things over one last time to make sure.

"Alright, nice and easy Tom," she stated as she settled into the command chair. She sent a sidelong glance towards Chakotay; he only sent one back to her. Her attention turned from the man seated next to her to the one at the con. She then announced, "All hands prepare for turbulence." It didn't take long and soon Voyager was back in space. "Secure all systems and plot a course back to earth Mr. Paris warp seven."

"Aye Captain," Tom stated as he began to plot their new course. "Course laid in Captain," he announced when he was ready.

"Engaged" she ordered and Voyager jumped to warp.

Once Voyager was back into open space Chakotay stood up, "Captain, may I speak to you in privet?"

She stood up as well, she really didn't want to have this conversation with him, but he'd forced her into a position that she'd have to talk with him. With much annoyance she motioned for him to follow her into the ready room.

The annoyances in the Captain's stance didn't go unnoticed by the individuals that were on the bridge, Tuvok raised his eyebrow and Tom and Harry exchanged a look. Tom's eyes were wide as he turned his attention back to the con, and refocused on what he was doing.

-=/\=-

The doors had just closed and he was already laying into her, "What the hell are you thinking, you can't just give your lungs away."

She took a stance behind her desk, a physical barrier. "I understand that you're concerned Chakotay, but there isn't another choice in this matter. The fact is that she will die without a transplant, and I can't let that happen." She was very much on the defensive; she really didn't want to let anyone else in on her secret.

He just couldn't understand why she as the Captain especially would take such a risk, "And what about you? What if something were to happen to you?" He was starring her down, there was far more going on then she was letting out, he could tell that by how quickly she'd gone on the defensive. "You have a responsibility to this crew, to the ship, and to yourself. With only one lung you'll be at a much greater risk." He let out a breath, he just couldn't stand the fact that she could be in danger.

It was clear that she wasn't going to get though to him. She squared her shoulders and stood up taller, she placed her hands on her desk and in her best captain's voice she spoke. "I've made my decision, is that clear?" she wanted the conversation to end right then and there.

He wasn't going to let this drop, not until he got a satisfactory answer as to why she was risking so much. "I, I just don't understand, why do something so dangerous? There has to be away to save her without putting yourself in danger. How do you and the Doctor know that you're the only compatible donor, there are 150 people on this ship, surely there are other's?"

She realized that she wasn't going to get him to understand why she had to do this without telling him the truth. Her shoulders dropped and looked down for only a few moments. She then managed to meet his gaze, "Because she and I share a very rare cofactor in our blood." She couldn't hold his eyes any longer, she let them fall as she finished what she was saying; "It is only passed down from mother to daughter."

He paused before he retorted the realization of what she'd just said hitting him. That was why she'd been so concerned for her from the beginning, why she'd been making so many trips to check on her during the day. "Oh Kathryn," he moved around her desk with his arms out. He took her into an embrace, "I'm so sorry, I didn't know that you even."

She cut him off before he could say it. Her voice was muffled do to the fact she was talking into his chest. "I wanted it that way." She paused long enough to swallow, "I was very young when I had her, too young, my parents and child protective services thought it best that I give her up." She closed her eyes and moved her hands up to grab his jacket. "I've regretted that moment for ever day of my life, but it was too difficult. I tried to keep her, but the ridicule I got, all the looks and stares." She was starting to find it difficult to speak but she pressed on finding the need to try and explain everything. "The constant remarks when we were out in public, it was too much. I was far too young to be a mother, so I gave her away."

She swallowed once more fighting the burning and the fighting of her throat. He just held her in his embrace letting her speak. "I kept track of her, watched her from a distance but I couldn't let her know. She was only a few months old when she was adopted, and I knew she wouldn't remember me. I couldn't stand to let her think I didn't want her." She whipped the tears that were on her cheeks away and took a deep ragged breath, "I decided it was best not to tell anyone about her, she would be my precious little secret."

He took her by the arms and pushed her back away from him slightly. She let her arms slide down to her side. She was looking down not wanting to make eye contact. He took his right hand and lifted her chin making her look him in the eyes. He looked deeply into her tear stained face he moved his hand from her chin to her cheek and whipped away the tears, "You were young, you're not the first person to do that and you're most certainly not going to be the last. There's no reason for you to be ashamed about the choice that you made. You knew that you couldn't care for her properly so you let her go to someone that could."

She just looked at him; she was very surprised by what he'd said and how he'd reacted. His words had been extremely kind and understanding, far kinder then she'd expected them to be. She wasn't sure that if the situation had been reversed how she would have reacted, though she was fairly sure it would have been differently. After a few more moments she spoke, "You see, I have to do this. Not just because it's right to save another's life, but she's my child. I have to do everything I can to keep her safe."

He still didn't like the idea anymore then he'd previously but he at least understood why she was making such a sacrifice. "I think I now understand." What she did next surprised him; she pulled him closer to her and placed her head back onto his chest. He took her invitation and wrapped his arms around her and placed his chin on top her head. He closed his eyes for a moment and so did she. She let herself relax into his embrace letting the warmth of his body soothe her some. It was only for the briefest of moments; soon the sound of the Doctor's voice broke the silence of the room. "Captain, I need you in sickbay." His voice sounded somewhat urgent.

She took a deep breath and moved her head away from his chest so that her voice wasn't muffled. "I'm on my way. Janeway out." Once the link was severed she locked eyes with him one more time. She reached out for one last hug needed to feel the contact of another person. Once she'd prepared herself she turned and left the ready room.

The two of them crossed the bridge and as they stepped into the turbo left Chakotay stated, "I'm going with you."

He was a bit surprised that she didn't argue. She wasn't in the mood to talk, so he didn't force her too, he just road with her in silence. Though the journey was very short it seemed to take hours. Soon the two of them found their selves in sickbay.


	6. Sacrifice of Love

Chapter Six: Sacrifice of Love

-=/\=-

No sooner had they entered sickbay did the Doctor move towards them. "Her condition is deteriorating quickly. If we don't do this soon, she'll die."

Kathryn swallowed, it was now becoming real. She took a deep breath then looked at the Doctor, "Alright." A surgical gown was placed into her hands. She took a moment to still herself before she disappeared behind a privacy screen to change. She returned and took her place on the biobed the Doctor had indicated. She was terrified but didn't let it show.

Chakotay took her hand and gently stroked the back of it, He leaned in close to her, "I'll be right here when you wake up."

She nodded and looked towards the Doctor, "Take care of her." She could feel her eyes becoming heavy as he pressed a hypo-spray into her neck. Only after she'd fallen into a deep slumber did Chakotay drop her hand and move back to allow him the freedom to do his job. He was scared for her, though he didn't like what she'd chosen to do, but there wasn't much he could say or do about it, after all it was her body and her life. He also understood the reason she felt she had to take the risk she was taking.

-=/\=-

The procedure lasted only a few hours and soon both women were sleeping soundly. Chakotay had ordered a chair to be projected next to the bed Kathryn occupied so that he could stay with her. He sat next to her holding her hand watching her breath. After some time her eyes slowly opened.

It took a bit but soon the form of Chakotay's face cleared, she turned her head so she could look at him squarely. "Hi" her voice was scarcely a whisper.

The Doctor had taken note that she'd woken up and before Chakotay and a chance to speak he was standing above her with a tricorder scanning her. "How are you feeling?"

It took a second for her to orient herself. Once she did she spoke, "Dizzy."

He nodded as he finished up his scans, "You're body has to get used to your diminished lung capacity." He placed the tricorder down. She was stable and there didn't appear to be any adverse reactions from the surgery.

She took as deep of a breath as she could and coughed slightly. Chakotay held her hand tighter but before the Doctor could say anything she spoke, "I'm fine," she turned her head towards Crystal, "How is." She paused so she could catch her breath, "she?"

He couldn't help but smile, "Stable, and breathing on her own." He placed his hand on her shoulder, "and not a moment too soon."

Kathryn turned her head back to the ceiling and closed her eyes in relief. She then pushed herself up onto her arms, "Doctor," she looked him in the eyes letting him know that she was serious, "Please don't tell her anything about me, I… I don't think she needs to know who I am." After she spoke she left herself collapse back onto the biobed not having the strength to continue holding her position. She also found herself feeling weak with the reality of everything that had happened.

"As you wish" he didn't agree with her, but he wasn't about to aggravate her under the circumstances by arguing his point of view. "I suggest that you sleep, I'll need you to stay in here a few days so that I can keep an eye on you." After she acknowledged him with a nod he left her alone, he hand reports to update.

Once the Doctor was gone she turned her attention back to Chakotay who'd been waiting very patiently. "I need you," she took a breath, "to let the crew know." She closed her eyes and took several breaths before continuing, "Tell them I did it to save another's life. They don't need to know the details." She was growing more and more tired by the moment.

"Of course" he brushed some of her hair away from her face, "Now I think I'd better let you sleep." He squeezed her hand gently and then set it down on the biobed. She nodded as she closed her eyes, she turned her head away from him. She was so exhausted that she was asleep before Chakotay had a chance to leave to tell the crew what she'd just done.

-=/\=-

The entire senior staff was assembled in the briefing room with the exception of Kathryn and the Doctor. Everyone looked around the room at each other in confusion as to why the Captain still hadn't shown up. It was Tom that broke the silence, "Commander where is the Captain?"

Chakotay leaned back in the chair at the head of the table. "That is actually why I have called this meeting." He took pause then continued, "The Captain is in sickbay, recovering."

"Recovering… from what?" B'Elanna asked as she leaned forward.

Chakotay put his hand up to stop the muttering that was starting to grow, "I know that you're all aware that one of our guests was still in critical condition. As of this morning she took a turn for the worse." He looked around the table, "The only way to save her life was to replace one of her lungs. The only compatible donor on the ship was Captain Janeway." He let what he said sink before he continued. "She understood the risk that she would be taking and it happened very quickly. If there had been more time she would have informed everyone herself but it was life or death and the decision needed to be made quickly." Everyone was looking down with the exception of Tuvok who always took news well being that he was a Vulcan. "Anyway, I suggest that you pay her a visit later, once the Doctor has okayed her for visitors, any questions?" No one moved, "alright dismissed."

The senior officers left the room leaving Chakotay to sit alone at the head of the table. He thought upon everything that Kathryn had told him. He hopped that she would tell Crystal the truth, and that she would give the crew a better explanation then he'd just given. It wasn't that surprising to him that no one had any questions; it was a case of what is done is done. They were upset by the fact they hadn't even been told, perfectly understandable as well. He himself was more than a little unsettled.

-=/\=-

In the mess hall Tom and B'Elanna sat at one of the tables near the view ports, B'Elanna was merely picking at her meal. "I can't believe she went ahead and did that without even telling us."

"You heard what Chakotay said, if the decision wasn't made quickly then she'd have died. I can see why she didn't tell us, and why she chose to go ahead and donate her lung. Would you want the blood of another person on your hands because you wanted more time to think about doing something that would save their life?" Tom too picked at his plate not sure if he really wanted to eat what he'd been served. "Besides, I remember a certain person letting someone have part of their brain without discussing it with anyone else."

The half Klingon huffed slightly, "That was different; it was a small section that wouldn't be potentially lethal to me."

He decided to try something else, "We also know two other's that are doing just fine with only one lung. You're forgetting about Neelix and Kes."

B'Elanna folded her arms across her chest and looked down. "You're right; I just wish she'd have at least told us before she went through with it."

He reached across the table and placed a hand on her arm. "I know, I do too, but she had her reasons and we should respect that.

-=/\=-

Kathryn awoke once more in sickbay. She guessed that it'd probably been hours since she'd fallen asleep. She was still very light headed but was finding it easier to breath. Carefully she pushed herself up into a sitting position and then up and off the bed. She slowly started to walk across the room monitoring her steps as she traversed the room. She was soon standing at the bed side of Crystal.

She stood looking her over, she was beautiful, every bit the woman she'd hoped she'd be. Kathryn laughed slightly as she took her hand and began to talk to her in a hushed tone. "Look at you, giving us all kinds of trouble. You've been a troublemaker since the day you were born." She brushed some of the hair that had escaped the braid the Doctor had placed her hair in back away from her face. "You came six weeks early and were sick from the moment you were born. You'd gotten an infection, but you fought though that, just like you're going to fight though this."

She didn't hear the Doctor come out of his office as she spoke. Upon hearing her talking he paused and stayed quietly around the corner. He smiled as he listened to her speak. "I also remember a baby that never wanted to be put down, and from what I understand things didn't improve much when you went to live with your other parents." She stopped talking as she coughed; she felt extremely weak and grabbed the edge of the bed for support.

The Doctor saw her distress and ran to her side. He helped stabilize her, "Here, I think that's enough getting out of bed for today." He lifted her up and carried her back to her biobed. She was too tired to protest to being carried.

As the Doctor lay her back down she asked in a concerned tone, "How long were you there?"

"I wasn't there long." He picked up the blanket that had been on her earlier and pulled it over her. "Now go back to sleep you need rest." He'd noticed that her breathing had become rapid and irregular. He placed a hypo-spray to her neck, "that will help you breath better, and this." He pressed another to the same spot, "will help you sleep.

The sedative worked quickly, she would have said something else to the Doctor but her eyelids became extremely heavy. She was to worn to fight the urge to sleep; soon she was back into the world of dreams.


	7. His Captain's Daughter

Chapter Seven: His Captain's Daughter

-=/\=-

Kathryn felt something on her hand; she moved her head around slightly on her pillow before she opened her eyes. It took a moment for her vision to clear. She smiled when she realized who she was looking at. "Hello, Chakotay." She pushed herself up into a semi-sitting position, resting on a pillow and the wall.

"How are you feeling today?" he asked while stroking the back of her hand.

"I'm alright," she looked a bit pale, tired, and weak, but otherwise in fairly good shape.

"I'm glad to hear it," He smiled broadly; "I brought you something." He moved the hand that wasn't holding her out from behind his back and presented her with a little brown teddy bear. He was rewarded by a laugh as she reached out to take the small stuffed toy.

"Thank you." She laughed as she looked it over; it was chocolate brown with a light brown nose and ears. "He's adorable."

"I thought you might like it." He'd decided that a get well present was something she was in desperate need of. He was also very pleased that she seemed to like it.

The sound of something coming from behind Chakotay caught her attention. She moved her head so that she could take a better look. Her smile widened as she became aware of the fact that he hadn't come alone. Most of the senior staff were standing behind him. They in turn began to come up to her to wish her a speedy recovery, B'Elanna stopped for a moment, "Captain?"

"Yes B'Elanna?" She asked curiously.

The half Klingon lifted her finger and with a very stern face spoke, "If you ever do something like this again without telling us," she paused for dramatic effect, "well you know." Not long after she finished did her stern face melt into a huge smile, she then handed her a bouquet of wild flowers, "Just get better."

Kathryn smiled and laughed with her chief engineer and then accepted the rest of the gifts the crew had brought her. Once they were gone she looked up into Chakotay's eyes. Her eyes held a haunted solemn look, "I don't deserve any of this." She held the little bear and starred into its deep brown eyes.

Chakotay was baffled by her reaction, "What do you mean? Of course you do." He held her hand tighter as he spoke. "You risked your life to save another's, and you would have done that regardless of who that person was, I know you would have." He took the holographic chair by her bed. "What happened in the past doesn't chance what you did. It was a selfless act of love and you deserve every bit of this, and every bit of their devotion and loyalty." He reached up and brushed some hair out of her face, keeping his hand on her cheek making sure that she was looking at him.

She turned her eyes away from his and sighed, she stilled herself and managed to bring her gaze back to his, "I'm thinking of telling her." She paused so she could take a breath, "I know she's probably going to hate me, but I feel that I at least owe her an explanation." Once she was done speaking she let her gaze fall back to the bear, she brushed some of the fur that was covering it's eye away.

"I don't think she'll hate you. She'll probably understand that you were still a child yourself. Nothing can change that fact." He brushed his thumb across her cheek, "There were far worse things you could have done if you truly hadn't wanted her. The fact that you've been keeping an eye on her all these years, and attempted to care for her yourself shows that you love her. I think that is the most important thing to remember."

He leaned in closer to her willing her to look into his eyes; she looked into his eyes and found a sense of comfort. He moved his hand up to her hairline and brushed a few curls behind her ear, the Doctor had braded it as well but still her hair managed to escape. Once he'd brushed her hair back he let his finger trail down to her chin as he leaned in a bit closer.

She was slowly being drawn by an imaginary force towards his lips; she was nearly to the point of giving in when the sound of the Doctor's voice echoed through the room. The trance was broken, the two of them parted quickly both feeling a bit embarrassed. Brush the feeling off both she and Chakotay turned in the direction the Doctor was calling from. He was standing next to Crystal's bed, "She's waking up."

Kathryn tried to push herself off the bed quickly; she wanted to be there when she woke up, but found herself to be extremely dizzy. Taking notice Chakotay helped her to her feet and let her lean on him for support. She was still very shaky and probably shouldn't have been out of bed, but he could understand why she wanted to be there. With his help they were soon by the young woman's side.

A moan escaped the lips of Crystal as she slowly moved her head back and forth. Her eyes opened only to shut again quickly. The room wherever she was, was very bright; she tried opening them, this time more cautiously. As her vision began to clear she noticed that there were three individuals surrounding her. Becoming slightly alarmed she started to try and back away. Instinctively Kathryn placed her hand on the girl's shoulder. "Easy," she said in a very calm voice, "It's alright, you're safe." Something in the woman's voice told her that she was. She was tired, dizzy, and had no idea where she was.

"Where?" she managed to ask, her mouth was dry and her voice very horse. She began to take in the facts that were surrounding her. There were two men, both in uniform; at least she knew she was on a federation ship. The next was that the woman who was with them appeared to be a patient as well.

"You're on the Federation Star Ship Voyager, I'm Captain Janeway." Her words were calm and kind, Chakotay picked up the love in them as well. "This is my first officer Commander Chakotay, and our Doctor." She motioned to each of the men in turn.

The Doctor took over the explanation. "You were badly injured, but we've managed to keep you here with us." Crystal tried to pull herself into a sitting position, but no sooner did she flinch did all three sets of hands restrain her. "You're going to have to remain lying down. Your body has gone through a lot, just take it easy alright?"

Crystal didn't like the idea of just laying there but three against one really just wasn't a fair fight. After a few seconds of thought she spoke, "My crew?"

Kathryn raised an eye brow and exchanged a look between the other two individuals that were standing above her. She then spoke, "you lost a few more, but most are safe. They've been staying in our guest quarters." She looked the young woman in the face and then voiced her own question, "You're crew?"

The young woman nodded, "an accident killed our captain and first officer. The others were killed in various attacks. I'm the only original bridge officer left." She stopped to try and catch her breath then attempted to sit back up again saying, "I need to see my crew." Kathryn didn't attempt to restrain her again, she only gripped the side of the biobed to keep herself from falling down. The Doctor and Chakotay made Crystal lay back down.

The Doctor then chimed back in, "I think right now what you need is rest." He then turned his attention away from the young woman on the biobed, to Kathryn, "I think you ought to be getting back into bed yourself." She was starting to look worse for wear.

She took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes, "Doctor I assure you I'm fine." She responded.

The Doctor simply tilted his head to the side with a look that said, I'm not buying it. "Captain, don't make me sedate you, go on." Chakotay obliged the Doctor by taking Kathryn by the shoulders and guiding her back to her respective bed. Under other circumstances she would have put up more of a fight but she just didn't have the energy too. "I think the rest of this conversation can wait until morning. I'll see about having your crewmembers come by to see you later. Now, get some sleep, that's in order." He's raised his voice some so that Kathryn could hear him as well, and he looked between the two. As he disappeared into his office he smiled to himself, He was defiantly able to tell that she was his Captain's daughter.

Chakotay lifted Kathryn back onto the bio bed. Once she was laying down in a reclined position he leaned in closer to her ear he then whispered, "I think she'll understand, she seems to be enough like you." He pulled his head back and smiled as she meekly hit at him. "Now I think you should do what the Doctor says and get some rest. I'll bring by your book?" She nodded and watched as he left the room to retrieve it. Kathryn turned onto her side to look over at Crystal. She smiled; at least she'd make it.

That Doctor had returned to take a few more scans of Crystal then left again, once he was gone she turned to look in the direction of Kathryn and smiled slightly before she closed her eyes and drifted back to sleep. Though she was exhausted she wasn't sleepy so she waited until Chakotay brought her book to her. She settled in to read and he left for his duty shift on the bridge.


	8. Truth

Chapter Eight: Truth

-=/\=-

Kathryn sat on the couch in her living area; a cup of coffee was warming her hands. She'd been released from sickbay but was on strict orders not to return to duty for a few more days. She had yet to tell Crystal the truth and wasn't sure how she was going to. She wasn't even sure she was going to tell her anymore. Looking down at her coffee table she spotted the book that she'd been reading. She figured now was as good of a time as any to finish it. She lifted it up and began to thumb through the pages.

-=/\=-

In sickbay Crystal was doing much better, her strength was beginning to return and she was starting to become anxious about getting out of there, being that the Holograph Doctor was starting to get on her nerves. She'd gotten to see the surviving members of her crew and was more at ease and somewhat grateful that they had found another ship; one that was larger than their own and much more able to protect themselves. However there were still a number of questions which needed to be asked.

She'd been reading and set the book down into her lap, "Doctor?" She asked eyeing him as he walked around the corner.

He moved over to her, "Yes Crystal, are you feeling alright." He had his tricorder at the ready.

She smiled, "Yes Doctor I'm feeling fine." She paused for a moment, "It's just, I'm curious. How did you manage to find a compatible donor for someone that has such a rare genetic makeup, on a ship thousands of light years away from earth, with only a handful of people on it?"

The Doctored eyed the young woman; just like Kathryn she was curious, a bit too curious. "We were lucky I guess." He smiled to her, "Now get some rest, I'll be releasing you tomorrow morning. The Commander has prepared some living quarters for you."

"Alright thank you doctor." She moved the book from her lap to the table that he'd provided her and then turned to her side. She fell asleep quickly, just being thankful that she was finally getting out of there.

-=/\=-

A few days passed and Kathryn was finally cleared for active duty. She'd already checked in on the survivors of the Condor crash and was going to start going over each one of their profiles to determine the best place on the ship for each of them. It was nice to have new crew, but it was sad that their arrival came at such a high price.

Kathryn was seated at her desk, a cup of coffee in her hand. She was scanning though the first personnel file when the sound of her door chime filled the room. "Come in" she called out as she moved her attention from the data padd she held to the door so she could see who it was. She smiled as Crystal stepped into the room, "Crystal, what can I do for you?" she placed the padd down on the desk and relaxed back into her chair and waited for the girl to speak.

Kathryn's smile subsided as she looked the girl over; she appeared to be troubled, and a tad bit unsure. Crystal stood for a moment then squared herself to speak. "I," she paused for a moment before she took a single step forward, "I have a few questions for you Captain." She stated rather formally, there was an edge to her voice.

Her eyebrows lowered at the girls tone; she recognized the same tone in herself. Nodding she spoke, "Alright go ahead."

Crystal moved forward and handed her the padd she came in with; before Kathryn could ask what it was she spoke, "It's a genetic analysis between you and me." She eyed Kathryn the hurt very evident on her face. "When were you going to tell me that you were my biological mother?"

She ignored the girl's last question. As a sense of violation ran though her, "Where did you get this?" she asked looking up at her.

Crystal rolled her eyes, "I have your lung remember, it wasn't exactly difficult to get the genetic information that I needed for the test. She moved forward and put her hands on the edge of Kathryn's desk. "And, you're avoiding my question, When were you going to tell me." Normally she would never address her superior officer in that type of manner but under the circumstances she really didn't care.

Kathryn was caught off guard and said the first thing that popped into her mind. Normally as the Captain you could get out of conversations by asserting your authority. "I'm not prepared to have this conversation right now."

Not letting her have a chance to say more Crystal laughed in angst, "I don't think you're ever going to be prepared for it. You weren't even planning on telling me were you?"

"I was planning on telling you," Kathryn stood up and leaned towards the girl, her hands on her desk. Those that knew Kathryn well knew that this was not one of her offensive postures but a defensive one.

"When, once we got back to Earth, a year, two years down the road?" Crystal was very upset and just saying what popped into her head. "You didn't expect me to figure it out did you?" She was still leaning on the desk looking Kathryn straight in the eyes. "Well let me tell you, it wasn't hard; especially since the last time I needed a transplant you were there."

Her eyes grew wide, her voice wasn't quite as harsh as it had been only moments before, "I didn't figure…"

Once again she was cut off, "Figure what? That I was old enough to understand what was going on? Well I did, though it took me until the other day to put all the pieces together. I knew that I was adopted." The girl let her gaze fall, "When you have something so rare that is only carried on your mother's genome, and you're mother doesn't have it… well even a child of twelve can figure out that she isn't her real mother." The girl looked very hurt.

Kathryn sighed, "Crystal I," she lost her words and sank back into her chair.

"You had to have known then that I knew. It wasn't a secret anymore. Why didn't you come to me? Let me know who you were?" Her eyes pleaded with Kathryn.

It seemed like ages before Kathryn broke the tense silence. "I didn't tell you because I was ashamed."

Crystal's eyes narrowed at her words, "Ashamed?" She paused and let out her breath, "of me?" Her mouth was set in a bit of a pucker her teeth clinched.

Kathryn shook her head no, tears were forming in her eyes, "No, not of you. I could never be ashamed of you." She looked up at the girl and stood once more. She moved her hand up towards her face. Crystal only backed away. Kathryn lowered her hand back to desk and looked down. "I was ashamed of me, what I'd done." She bit her lip for a moment before she continued to speak. "I didn't want you to know. I didn't want you to know that I'd given up; that I'd given you away because I couldn't stand the hate, the stares, and the constant stream of unfriendly looks." She swallowed, "I was a child myself; I had no business trying to raise a child of my own. I wasn't even mature enough to stand up to the other children that picked on me for having you." She once again sank back into her chair slowly tears streaming down her face. She managed to look up, "I didn't want you to know that you had a failure for a mother."

Crystal stood for a second looking at Kathryn. She was taken aback by what she'd said. Her hand came up to her face and a look of disbelief and sadness played across it. She had no idea what to say or how to respond. She was completely lost for words. She looked at the woman one more time; her body was shaking with tears. Crystal's eyes filled with tears as well, she couldn't stand it any longer; she covered her face once more then and then quickly made her way out of the ready room. She willed herself to calm down some before she appeared on the bridge.

-=/\=-

Chakotay turned his head upon hearing the doors to the ready room open. He watched as Crystal made her way quickly across the bridge and into the turbo lift. The look on the young woman's face didn't go unnoticed by Chakotay. He watched as she leaned against the back wall of the lift. She closed her eyes and took a very deep breath. Once the doors were closed Chakotay turned back around, 'she must have told her' he thought to himself. He looked towards the ready room once more.

He stood and made his way her office; he figured that if she had told her she may be in need of some comforting. He stopped and pressed the chime. When she still hadn't answered after the second time he punched in his override code and ducked inside.

-=/\=-

He looked around for a moment and then spotted her at her desk. His heart broke when he saw her. The normally very strong Kathryn was curled completely into a ball her body shaking with sobs. He moved over to her and knelt down next to her. "Kathryn?" he said as he placed his hand cautiously on her knee.

She shifted in the chair just enough to cause his hand to detach from her knee. "Go away" she said between sobs.

"I'm not going to do that" he said as he placed his left hand on her upper back and his right on her knee. He pushed her back gently towards him. She gave into his invitation and moved into his embrace slipping out of the chair and onto his lap. She lay her head on his shoulder as sobs poured out of her. She could feel his hand move up her back and into her hair, "Shh, it's alright." He gently whispered.

He felt her head move back and forth on his shoulder, "No it's not." She sniffed, "She hates me." She closed her eyes tightly and held on to him tighter.

He carefully moved his arm under her legs and lifted her up and carried her to the couch. He sat down keeping her on his lap. He stayed quiet and she snuggled into his arms. Once she seemed to be comfortable he spoke. "I'm sure she doesn't hate you, she's just upset right now." He spoke what he thought though he was sure he probably wasn't going to be able to reason with her in the state that she was in.

Chakotay was right; all she did was shake her head and cry harder. He did the only thing that he could think of, he just held her and rocked her back and forth gently. He needed to let her calm herself down, the only thing he could do was be there to support her.

-=/\=-

Crystal returned to her quarters, she was angry and at the same time confused. She paced back and forth trying to get her thoughts straight. She was also trying not to cry. She wasn't entirely sure how to feel about the woman that was in the ready room. Frustrated she hit her combadge, "Billy" her was shaky full of the uncertainty and fear, "Could you come to my quarters, I think I need to talk."

The blonde man that had been lying next to her on the Condor's bridge filled the room, "Of course Crystal, I'm on my way."

It didn't take long for Crystal's chime to ring. She answered it and motioned for him to take a seat on the couch. She took up a position next to him and laid her head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her pulling her closer to him. "What is it?" he asked as he placed a soft kiss atop her head.

She snuggled in even closer needing his closeness, "I found my real mom," was all she was able to say before she lost the battle with her emotions.


	9. Stubborn Redheads

Chapter Nine: Stubborn Redheads

-=/\=-

The tension between Kathryn and Crystal over the last few weeks hadn't gone unnoticed by the crew of either ship. The only five people that knew why weren't' talking to anyone about what was going on. However, that most certainly didn't stop the crew from coming to their own conclusions as to what was going on.

B'Elanna looked across the mess hall at the young redhead; she was sitting with Billy who'd been assigned to her team in engineering. After a few moments she turned back to look at Tom, "Have you noticed that the Captain and Crystal seem to be avoiding each other?"

Tom nodded and put in his two cents, "Yeah I have, a few weeks ago Crystal came out of the ready room very quickly. I'm not sure what happened but I haven't seen the two of them go near each other since." He looked into the direction of the other woman in question. Kathryn was sitting with Chakotay at their usual table, far from most of the action in the mess. He turned back to the B'Elanna, "I also find it strange that the Captain was the only compatible donor on the ship." He lifted up his coffee to take a sip.

"I found that to be odd too," Looked away from Tom to her left when she heard someone pulling up a chair, it was harry.

"Are you talking about or resident red heads?" He set his tray down as he took his seat next to the others.

Tom nodded

Before anyone else could speak Harry added something to the conversation, he leaned in and in a hushed tone spoke what he knew. "I heard something interesting from one of the Condor crew members today. We were working on a project together and the subject came up. Apparently Crystal was adopted as a baby." He raised his eyebrow in a manner in which to suggest something.

B'Elanna smiled as she mused to herself, her eyes opened wider as she spoke, "You don't supposed that," she looked between the two women in the room.

"The do look a lot alike," Harry added.

"It sure would explain a lot" Tom stated. The group hushed up as they noticed Kathryn and Chakotay stand up. The smiled and nodded to the pair as they walked past.

Once they were gone B'Elanna chuckled, "Listen to us, really what would be the odds of that actually happening?" Besides Tom, you have seen her medical records; do they even mention a pregnancy? She'd also have had to be sixteen to have had her; Captain Janeway just doesn't strike me as the kind of person that would have gotten herself into that kind of situation."

Tom and Harry exchanged glances and then both turned to look at B'Elanna, "You're right, we're probably just blowing some strange coincidences out of proportion." Harry stated. The group then finished up their meals chit chatting about other things.

Across the room Crystal and Billy were in deep conversation. "I don't think I'm ready to talk to her again, she certainly hasn't made an effort to talk to me." Crystal stated as she pushed the strange food she'd been given around with her fork. She still wasn't used to Neelix's idea of a good wholesome meal.

"I think you should, and if I remember right I think that it's you that has been avoiding her." He raised his eyebrows as he looked at her. "You were also none to kind when you confronted her; for one thing I think the DNA analysis probably wasn't the best approach." She avoided his eyes and refused to give what he said a response. Billy sighed, "Chris," he reached out and placed his hand on the one that wasn't playing with her food. "The two of you need to sort this out, we're going to be stuck on this ship for a very long time; too long to keep this type of emotion bottled up and hidden."

She sighed deeply, "I know, I" she paused then continued, "I just don't know where to go from here." She looked deeply into his eyes, her ice blue ones gleaming. "She probably thinks I hate her."

"Do you?" He asked, "Do you hate her for what she did?"

Her eyes fell and in a very quiet tone she simply stated, "No," she set her fork down and then moved both her hands to her lap. The girl looked very vulnerable.

Billy decided that the rest of their conversation should be held somewhere more privet. "Hey lets go back to my quarters, Tony's on duty and won't be back for a while. We can talk more there.

She nodded and stood quietly. She looked very sad as she walked along side of him. Billy carried their trays of not half eaten food to the recycler. He then escorted Crystal out of the mess hall. The girl's posture and mood was picked up by the three senior officers in the room.

Harry looked at the other two, "Wonder what's up with her?"

Both Tom and B'Elanna shrugged before they stood to recycle their empty trays. It was B'Elanna that spoke up, "Not sure, perhaps she's just homesick."

Tom couldn't resist the chance to make a really good joke, "or just sick of Neelix's food." The rest of the small group smiled broadly and laughed as they made their way out of the mess hall and to their respective destinations.

-=/\=-

Kathryn sat looking out at the stars; Chakotay had accompanied her to her quarters. Over the last three weeks this was often the case. He knew that she needed him, but she hadn't actually asked, nor had she actually brought up what she really needed to talk about. Most of their evenings were spent talking about the ship and other things. Occasionally they would talk about Earth and their families. The two of them had also started to grow far closer then they'd been previously, much to Chakotay's surprise.

The insecurities that Crystal had brought with her had played a part in their growing relationship. She was worried and unsure; in the state that she was in she was putting up far less guards as she normally would. The human need for companionship seemed far harder to resist. Chakotay took as many moments to show her how much he cared for her without pushing her. He didn't want her to push him away and start isolating herself from everyone. For now, he would be there for her as long as she needed him too.

That night was the first night she spoke about the child that had come back into her life. "She's avoiding me." She stated as she continued looking out at the stars.

"What makes you say that?" he asked, he had noticed that she appeared to be avoiding her too but he wanted to hear her thoughts on it.

"If we're in the mess, she'll walk around the perimeter of the room rather than past me, and I've seen glimpses of her as she's turned around when we've been in the corridors." She sighed and finally turned to look at him. Her face was somber." He only nodded as he was unsure as to what to say. "I knew she'd hate me." Her eyes drifted down to the floor.

Chakotay's heart broke; the pain she was feeling over the situation was so great but there wasn't anything he could do to ease it. "I don't think she hates you, maybe she's feeling as unsure as you are about everything. Maybe, she thinks that you don't want to have anything to do with her. She also could be ashamed with herself for how she acted." He paused for a moment, "Have you made any effort to seek her out and talk to her?"

She looked back up at him, and thought for a moment, "No, I doubt she'd listen to me." She turned to look back at the stars.

Chakotay moved closer to her and carefully placed his hand onto her shoulder. "Perhaps you should take the first step. Show her how much you really do care about her?"

She could feel how close he was to her and turned towards him. She moved into his arms and rested her head on his shoulder suddenly feeling the need to be held. At first her actions startled him, but he didn't let her know that it did. He took her invitation and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close to him. He felt her nod, "maybe," is all she said before she fell silent.

-=/\=-

The next morning Kathryn sat at her desk in the ready room. Her thoughts were on both Crystal and the events that had happened the night before. She was feeling closer to Chakotay then she'd ever felt before. The night before she'd turned to him for support and cuddled into his embrace and for the first time in a long while she felt safe; truly safe and supported it was a feeling she really hadn't felt before. He definitely gave her the strength to do things, she just hadn't really noticed how much before. She sighed, and then looked at a folded up letter that she held in her hands. As a child she'd been used to writing the old-fashioned-way, ink and paper. Her parents thought that it was good for her sister and herself to maintain those skills.

She'd written it with the intention of leaving it for Crystal when she was older, but had never found the time, or the right moment to do so. Chakotay had convinced her to make the next move in resolving things with her, and this was going to be it. She would just have to wait until the end of her shift.

-=/\=-

After her shift was over Kathryn checked the computer for the location of Crystal. Thankfully she was busy elsewhere. Kathryn made her way to the girl's quarters and keyed in her override code and slipped inside. "Computer lights fifty percent." Once the room was lit enough for her to see, she made her way to the coffee table. She placed the handwritten letter onto it and placed a single yellow rose into a vase with it. Quietly she left Crystal's quarters calling for the lights to turn off.

-=/\=-

About an hour later Crystal and Billy returned to her quarters. They'd just finished up dinner together on the holodeck and she was feeling very relaxed. She had already started making plans for how she was going to talk to Kathryn; Billy had convinced her that she was acting foolish and sort of child like.

As they entered her quarters Billy called for the lights. Crystal was still laughing at something he'd said, "I'm going to go and chance, I'll be right back." She leaned in and gave him a quick kiss before heading off to her sleeping area to change. As she went to chance out of her dress Billy went to the replicator to get them some drinks. He moved back to the coffee table and went to set them down; he paused when he spotted something.

"Chris" he called out, "There's a yellow rose and what looks like a letter here on the coffee table."

Crystal walked out of the bedroom as she finished slipping on a long powder blue spaghetti strapped satin night gown over her head. "What?" she inquired as she moved to the front of the couch. She tiled her head to the left as she lifted up the yellowed paper, she slowly unfolded it and her eyebrows furrowed.

Billy moved up behind her, "Who's it from?"

She looked up into his eyes shock was evident on her faces, "The Captain." She looked back down to the paper she held in her hands, "It's a letter from the Captain."


	10. Reconciliations

Chapter Ten: Reconciliations

-=/\=-

_2351 Janeway Household_

Young Kathryn sat at her writing desk, the small child she'd carried in a cradle next to her. Tomorrow was the day her new parents would be coming to get her. Tears streamed down her face as she dipped a quill into an ornate ink bottle. Carefully she wrote upon some parchment paper.

_To my little baby girl,_

_I know that you more than likely won't know who I am when you read this, or understand why I gave you to someone else, but I can assure you it isn't because I don't love you. In fact the opposite is true. I love you so much that I am giving you to two wonderful people that will give you all the love and care you need. The care I cannot provide._

_I myself am a child; at this point not quite sixteen and a half, much too young to be a mother. Don't think that you were a mistake. You were created out of love, even though we were too young to understand how our actions would affect us and our families. I have not made this decision, to have you go to live with someone else, lightly. The truth is I didn't want to give you up, but now I understand that I must, it is for your own good._

_The family I have chosen for you has a mother and a father; they are old and wise enough to know how to care for you properly. They are also able to provide you with the stable home and family that you need. I will miss you very much; I'll miss holding you, hugging you, the sound of your baby laugh, and your delicate little smile._

_I hope that one day I can see you again when you are old enough to understand what is going on, and I hope that you will not be hurt or hate me for this decision. I love you and would do anything, even give my life for you. That is why I have to give you away, because I am not able to give you what you deserve._

_I will always love you  
Your Mother  
Kathryn Janeway_

After writing out her letter the young teen folded it up and placed it into her jewelry box, she would one day send it to her child hoping that she would understand. She looked down at the baby that lay next to her and smiled as she whipped the tears out of her eyes. "I really do love you," she told her.

-=/\=-

_2373 Star Ship Voyager_

Crystal starred at the letter, her own tears joining up with the old stains of her mother's. Billy placed his hand on her knee; she hadn't even realized that she'd sat down on her couch while she was reading. She wasn't sure what to do, she hadn't been expecting this at all. A letter that was nearly as old as she was, her mother had been holding on to it all this time, and had even brought it with her when she took her command.

When she regained some of her composure she looked at Billy as she carefully refolded the letter along its worn seams. "She wrote this the day before I was adopted. She's been holding onto it all this time, even out here." Her brow was furrowed, sadness and confusion danced in her eyes.

Billy nodded as he continued to touch her letting her know that he was there for her. "I think that says a lot, don't you?"

Crystal sighed, "Yeah," it was no more than a whisper, "it does." She carefully set the letter down on the coffee table and lifted up the single rose. "Yellow."

"A sign of friendship." Billy provided.

Crystal smelled the rose; it was real and not replicated. "I still don't know what to say. She looked into his eyes,

"What does your heart say you should do?" Billy was wise well beyond his years.

"I want to know who she is, get to know her." She placed the rose back into its case. "She's half of me, and she knows about the other half. She's a connection to at least part of what makes me me. She also knows who my father is." She was trying not to cry again.

"Well I'd say that's a start, you should tell her what you just told me." He took her hands into his, "I think if you did, things could be really good between the two of you, especially since your adoptive parents are no longer with us."

She closed her eyes as a tear spilled over and bowed her head and sighed, "Yeah."

-=/\=-

In her quarters Kathryn was pacing back and forth, surely she would have gotten back and had a chance to read the letter. Did she think it was a silly explanation or did she just not care? Would she even read the letter? The questions kept racing though her mind. Maybe it was a dumb idea to give it to her, why had she listed to Chakotay. What was wrong with her? She was letting herself get into situations that she'd once told herself she'd never do.

The sound of the door chime made her snap back to reality. She froze; she didn't want to answer it. She knew that it was either going to be Chakotay or Crystal, and at the moment she wasn't sure if she could handle either one of them. It rang again, she swallowed and decided that even though she didn't want to see either one of them she'd have to answer it, "Come in." She turned to look at the door she was extremely nervous.

It was Chakotay. "Hey," he said as he walked in, it was pretty obvious that she was tense.

"Hi," she watched her tone closely trying not to show how nervous she was. She however, knew that he could tell regardless. She was also fairly sure that he could see the wear marks on the carpet from her pacing.

"You didn't come to the mess hall, so I decided to check u on you." We walked across the room towards her. She was standing with her arms wrapped around herself as if she were cold.

"I'm sorry, I forgot." Her gaze was on the floor as she continued to speak. For some reason she decided to let him know what she'd done. "I left her the letter I wrote for her the day before she was adopted." She took in a deep breath as she turned to face the viewport.

He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. She wasn't really in the mood for him to be there and didn't give him a response; she only continued t stare out the window. Though she really didn't feel like having him around she didn't push him away. Taking note that she was unresponsive to him he let go of her and moved to stand next to her, not sure what to say. After a few moments she turned to look at him, "I would actually prefer to be alone right now." It was the first time that she'd requested that he leave. He was slightly hurt but nodded. She was obviously upset and he didn't want to make her more upset by pushing her even more. He felt that she needed to talk, but it was her choice.

"I'll just be a combadge away." He stated as he placed a hand on her shoulder, she only nodded to him. Releasing her shoulder and then disappeared behind the doors. She sank to the ground, everything weighing heavily on her. She pulled her knees into her chest and leaned against the window. She didn't cry just continued to stare out into the vastness of space.

It seemed like hours had passed but it'd merely been a few minutes and her chime rang once more. She stood up quickly not wanting to be caught in such a vulnerable position. She wasn't sure if it was Chakotay again or not so she took a deep breath and put on a brave face and called for the doors to open. When the doors opened she saw that it was the other person she thought she couldn't' face, her daughter.

Crystal stood in the doorway and was the first to speak, "Can I come in?" her voice was quiet.

Kathryn nodded, "yes," it was scarcely audible. She'd become numb. The young woman moved just far enough inside the doors for them to close. Kathryn motioned for her to sit on the couch, she was preparing herself for the worst the girl could do, but was hoping that this time things would go far smoother then they had the last time. "Would you like something?"

The girl shook her head, "No thank you, I just got back from dinner." She sounded just as unsure as Kathryn felt.

The older woman nodded and moved to sit next to her leaving a cushion between them, leaving the other woman some space. The two sat in silence for a few moments neither one knowing exactly what to say to the other. Crystal than broke the silence, "I read your letter." She looked over to Kathryn. She was looking back at her, her expression was not readable, "and," she paused once again lost for words. She then changed her mind about what she was going to say mid thought, "I'm sorry." The girls Ice blue eyes moved away from Kathryn's.

"Sorry?" she whispered then swallowed her brow furrowing. She was scared that the girl was about to confirm her worst fears, that she didn't want to have anything to do with her.

"Yes, sorry for the way I acted. It was rash and not very tactful." She smiled slightly, "I've been told that I sometimes act before I think. I was just hurt and shocked." She looked back up into Kathryn's eyes, "I didn't even give you a chance before I jumped in and came to my own conclusions. I didn't even stop to think how you must have been feeling, or what you were going thought. And, that I apologize for, it was wrong of me to do that." She looked down then back up, her eyes were filled with unshed tears that were threatening to fall. "I put you in a really bad situation.

Kathryn breathed a sigh of relief and swallowed, "I'm sorry too, for acting the way I did. I too was hurt and shocked by everything. I wasn't exactly expecting to ever see you again, especially once Voyager was pulled out here. When I saw you lying there dying on that ship, and then was told that you weren't going to make it I was scared. I didn't know how you would react, suddenly meeting me, or for that matter having to possibly spend the rest of your life with me." She'd been looking at her hands moving them back and forth against each other as she spoke. She looked up from her hands to look the girl in the face, "I didn't know if you'd even want to know me, that's why I didn't tell you."

Crystal moved over to the cushion that Kathryn had left between them. With a shy smile she asked, "Can we start over?" She nodded and watched as the girl reached her hand out, "Hi, I'm Crystal, your daughter."

Kathryn was fighting back tears of her own as she took the girls hand. "I'm Kathryn, your mother." She then pulled Crystal into an embrace, it felt right. She held onto the girl tightly and could feel her daughter's sobs that matched her own. The two stayed in the embrace for a long while as if they were making up for lost time. The two finally parted and settled into the couch and began to talk about their lives during the time they were apart. The two talked well into the night before they both fell asleep still sitting on Kathryn's couch.

-=/\=-

Author's Note: This is the end of the revised version of the original; the next chapter will be all new. I hope that you've been enjoying this story so far.

GraphXButterfly


	11. Bending the Rules

Chapter Eleven: Bending the Rules

-=/\=-

The air was cool and the sound of rustling cornstalks and crickets filled the atmosphere it was here that she liked to come when she needed to clear her mind and think. Kathryn sat alone high up in a tree trying to process everything that had happened over the last couple of months; all of the conflicting emotions, and about what she was going to do about the two situations she'd found herself in.

Kathryn sighed and leaned her head back against the tree's trunk and looked up into the familiar sky from her youth. She had some very tough decisions to make. Usually when she had to make a decision about something that could or would affect the ship and her crew she would turn to Starfleet's rulebook. This time it only made making the decision that much harder.

Everything that she'd read said that she could not become involved with a member of her crew and that Crystal could not serve under her command. But the facts stood as such; if they were in the alpha Quadrant then Crystal would simply have been transferred to another vessel and Chakotay, aside from the fact he was maque, would have either resigned or transferred as well. But, the facts were, Voyager was still thousands of light years from federation space and they could not take on a passenger that wasn't serving the ship in some fashion another fact Was that no one on the ship was getting any younger and the crew was starting to form extremity close relationships.

Voyager had a very long ways to go before they were home and as Chakotay had stated previously they were going to need replacement crew eventually. Kathryn looked down towards the ground and mused, would becoming involved with Chakotay really be so terrible, it certainly wouldn't be the most questionable command decision she'd ever made.

She sighed once more and began to make her way back towards the ground. Was she letting her emotions about Crystal's arrival cloud her judgment or had her arrival simply forced her to finally face the questions she'd had for a while. She herself couldn't actually answer that question. Her feet hit the ground and she spoke, "computer end program", with that the land of her childhood vanished. There was possibly one person on the ship that could help.

-=/\=-

The Doctor was sitting in his office when the sound of the doors opening and closing caught his attention. He looked up to see the form of Kathryn Janeway enter the main part of sickbay. "Captain what can I do for you?" He asked as he walked out of his office.

She looked at him for a moment before she spoke "Well Doctor I think I need some advice," she stated as she walked past him and into the office he'd just vacated. She took the chair that was in front of his desk and nodded that he should assume his; once he too was seated she spoke. "I'm having a bit of an issue with a couple of my officers, They wish to become involved with each other but they work in the same department and one of them happens to be a superior of the other. I know that normally it wouldn't be a problem except in this case both officers are needed in the deportment so a deportment transfer is imposable. Do you think that if I were to allow them to pursue their relationship that it would be a questionable decision on my part under the extreme circumstance that surround Voyager?"

He leaned back in his chair and folded his hands on his desk. He knew why she'd come to him, as a Starfleet computer program he was far better at understanding and interpreting the "rule book." Also, he'd already figured out who the officers in question probably were; several observations had led him to his conclusion. The first of which was the fact she was asking his advice rather than the Commander's or Tuvok's. The second observation was one that only a tricorder or he could detect the subtle almost imperceptive physical changes in her body and face while she was discussing the matter with him. The third and final observation had been made over many weeks; it was fairly obvious that they were growing extremely close to one another. He decided to offer her a slightly different perspective on what he knew she'd already read. "Well, Starfleet is and has always been reluctant to become involved in the personal and individual lines of its members but onboard a ship, personal relationships between a superior officer and a subordinate can sometimes lead to issues that could lead to a breakdown of the command structure. This is what Starfleet is trying to prevent."

He watched as she took in what he was saying. She looked as if her world was starting to cave in." Now, the question as Captain you need to ask is do you believe that if the two officers in question were to become personally involved with each other could they still maintain the command structure on this ship. Another question you have to ask yourself is, are you prepared as Captain to tell these two individuals that they must spend possibly the rest of their lives working together and living in a very close community together knowing that they care for each other as much as they do?" He leaned towards her, "Captain Voyager is in a very unique situation, one that the people who wrote the guidelines couldn't possibly have imagined; now I'm not saying to toss them out, but some of them may just not pertain to Voyager's particular situation. If you were to ask my opinion I would say to allow them to pursue their relationship."

Kathryn looked down at her hands and thought on what he'd said. She smiled as she looked up at the doctor, "Thank you, you've given me a lot to think about." She stood and offered him a nod.

"You're welcome Captain I'm glad that I could be of assistance." He stated with a smile, he then watched as she turned and left.

-=/\=-

It was still early in the day and she was trying to avoid Chakotay best she could until she'd finally decided what she was going to do. Her talk with the Doctor had gone fairly well. He seemed to think that under the circumstances bending some of the rules would be fine. She smiled and thought to herself, if it really did take them a life time to get home, would Starfleet really be so concerned about the relationships that were formed on board?

She turned the corner and then stopped as she waited for the lift. Once the lift arrived she nodded to the couple of ensigns that exited and stepped in. "Bridge" she called out and the lift hummed to life.

-=/\=-

Kathryn exited the lift and made her way towards the ready room, Commander may I see you please; she waited only long enough for him to be steps behind her before She walked through the threshold.

He was right behind her; he hadn't seen her since the night before and when he'd last seen her she was a wreck; and asked him to leave. He watched as she made her way towards the replicator, she looked over her shoulder towards him, "Tea" he supplied to her unvoiced question.

"One Coffee and one tea" she instructed; after the drinks materialized she lifted them up and walked over to him. He accepted his drink then followed her to the couch and took a seat next to her on the right. Kathryn took a sip of her coffee and finally spoke. "Chakotay, there are a few things we need to talk about." Her eyes moved from her coffee cup upwards to look at him.

She wasn't entirely sure how to start this conversation. He'd noticed her hesitation and placed his hand on her knee. She closed her eyes for a moment at his touch and then took his hand into hers. Tears had started to form in her eyes. She hadn't expected to become this emotional.

Chakotay lifted up his freehand and placed it on her cheek. "Kathryn, what is it? Is it about Crystal?" As of late that was usually what it was. However, to his surprise she shook her head no, "then what?"

She swallowed and took a deep breath but when she spoke her voice was just above a whisper, "us." She let her gaze fall as she kept speaking," I've been thinking about a lot of things trying to figure out just what to do. Starfleet doesn't expressly forbid it, but they don't exactly condone it either." She looked back up to his face. He looked very sad; she knew that he was thinking the worst she could do to him. She took a deep breath and grabbed his hand tighter. "Chakotay" her face was extremely serious, "this probably the only time you're going to hear me say this, but in this case to hell with what Starfleet thinks." Her face erupted into a huge grin as she watched his expression change. "Now there are some things I must make clear, no matter what happens we cannot let the command Structure on this ship break down, our personal issues and lives cannot interfere with ships business."

All Chakotay could do was smile. "I haven't let that happen yet and I don't plan to." He paused a moment, "No matter what you were going to tell me just a moment ago it wouldn't have changed how I feel or have felt about you. I have loved you for a very long time and I have always trusted your orders and I always will, no matter where this leads us."

He was whipping the tears away from her face as she looked at him. After a few minutes of starring at him starring at her she laughed, "You can kiss me if you want." Chakotay laughed with her and then took her invitation and slowly leaned in towards her. He was so close she could feel the warmth of his body just a few more centimeters to go.

Voyager jolted suddenly; the lights dimmed and the red lights began to flash in time with the sound of the alarm. "Bridge to Janeway, you'd better get out here" the voice of Harry stated over the com.


	12. Where Were We

Chapter Twelve: Where Were We

-=/\=-

"Return fire," Kathryn called from her command chair as Voyager shuddered from weapons fire. Once again they were in the middle of an unprovoked attack by an unknown attacker.

"No effect," Tuvok reported from his station.

The sound of someone exiting the turbo lift and calling her caught her attention, "Captain, they're called the Katory, our weapons are no use against them. Their ships are out of phase with normal space." Crystal stated as she made her way to the lower deck of the bridge.

"That would explain why their weapons are just ripping through our shields," Harry stated from ops.

"Harry, readjust the shields to a 5.2 phase discrimination," Crystal asked. He looked towards Kathryn who nodded.

"Shields have been adjusted." Harry said as the shaking ceased.

Crystal turned her attention back to Kathryn, "I would highly suggest we get out of here, the shield modifications will only hold for a short time, their ships can match our speed but their engines over heat quickly."

Kathryn looked at her and nodded" Tom, maximum warp,"

"Course laid in, we are traveling at warp 9.9 on a heading of 0 mark 663," Tom stated.

"They are pursuing" Tuvok stated "and firing another volley," just as the words left his mouth the ship shook again. "Direct hit, shields down to 60 percent."

"Crystal how long before their engines overheat?" She grabbed a hold of her chair as Voyager bucked. Crystal caught herself on the edge of Kathryn's seat.

"They usually over heat in about ten minutes," She stated as she took a seat to the right of Kathryn. Everyone braced themselves as the ship shook once more.

"We're not going to last that long our shields will be down in about 7." Harry called out as grabbed his consol.

"Maybe we can out maneuver them, Tom drop out of" Kathryn looked to her side when she was cutoff.

"That won't work, their ships are more maneuverable then Voyager is, and their weapons have highly sophisticated tracking systems, though they are sensitive to certain types of radiation." Crystal informed Kathryn.

"Harry scan for any nearby nebulas."

I've got one, type 3 it's about two minutes from here" He replied, "I'm transferring the co-ordnance to the helm."

"Got them setting a course" Tom called out.

Voyager made it to the nebula just in time. "They are not following us in" Tuvok stated.

Crystal looked up to Harry, "Harry, how far does this nebula span, I mean does it by pass the next three star systems?"

"It ends about halfway through the third one why?" He asked her his brow was furrowed.

The young woman turned back to Kathryn, "Their territory consists of three systems; I didn't realize that we were heading into their space or I would have warned you. The Katory are violent and paranoid, and they do not respond to diplomacy. We'd stumbled in to the furthest edge of their territory and if it weren't For the Cotill I don't think we would have made it out of there. They were the ones that gave us the information on them:"

Kathryn caught on what she was saying, if they could stay in the protection of the nebula then they would be able to by-pass most of the Katory's territory, in the mean time they could use the time to see about developing a way of modifying their shields and weapons to ward off an attack. "Mr. Paris chart a course though this nebula. In the mean time, let's try and figure out a way of protecting ourselves from their weapons and modifying ours so that we can penetrate their shields." She was met with a chorus of 'aye captain's' they were not completely out of the woods yet but now they had some time. "Stand down red alert, there will be a briefing in three hours." She stood and made her way towards the ready room, "Commander you have the bridge, I'll be in my ready room,"

-=/\=-

It was several hours later and Tom, Harry, and B'Elanna were in the mess hall eating together. "I wonder why the Captain just let Crystal take over like that; she didn't even call her on it." Harry stated.

"I have no idea, I was surprised about that as well," Tom said as he lifted up his fork to take a bite. "I thought for sure when she took over and asked you to do something that the Captain would come unglued." Tom said as he was lifting up his fork to take a bite.

B'Elanna looked surprised, "Wait, the Captain let Crystal dish out orders? That doesn't sound like her at all." The last time someone tired that she'd gotten really upset and dressed them down right there on the bridge.

"I know, strange?" Harry added.

"I guess whatever was up between them is settled down," Tom grinned, "I'm still wondering if there's more than meets the eye."

"Well, I guess we won't know unless one of them mentions something about it, all we can do is guess what is up between those two." B'Elanna stated subsequently bringing the conversation to an end.

-=/\=-

"Come in," Kathryn stated as the chime to her quarters rang. She'd been extremely busy since the attack had started and even after her shift was over she was poring over reports. She looked up from what she was reading only after the door closed. Her face erupted into a huge smile, "Chakotay."

"Sorry to disturb you, but I wanted to see you." He said.

"Know what I think these can wait for a bit, not like we're going anywhere just yet, Tom is still working on plotting a safe course though here, I think they can wait until the morning," She had actually secretly been hoping for a distraction.

"Are you sure, I don't want to intrude." He smiled, he knew what they'd talked about earlier, and she'd stated that if they tried to have a relationship together, that it couldn't interfere with the ship.

She smiled as she stood up from her desk and walked towards him, "You're never an intrusion." She stopped right in front of him and looked down for a moment as she thought. She looked back up quickly, "I've got an idea."

"What's that?" he asked curiously.

"Well first, have you had dinner yet?" she was grinning from ear to ear.

"No, I actually was going to see if you wanted to accompany me to the mess." He stated, reviling the real reason he'd stopped by.

"I haven't had dinner either, but I'm really not up to eating in the mess hall, let's go to the holodeck, I have some time saved up, what do you say to a lake side supper?" She looked up into his eyes with almost childlike exuberance.

"I say that sounds like a lovely idea." He was grinning too.

"Great, um how about you go and change, and come back in say ten minutes?" She lifted up her eyebrows; she wasn't normally this spontaneous but for some reason it just sounded like a really good idea. For the moment Voyager was safe, the Katory didn't appear to want to even attempt to navigate the nebula and was holding position a fair distance away.

"Alright, I'll be back in ten, you be ready." He flashed a dimpled smile towards her and hurried out of her quarters. I lake side dinner with Kathryn sounded perfect.

-=/\=-

"Ugh, I'm getting nowhere with this, we're not any closer to figuring this out then we were on the Condor." Crystal stated as she set down the padd she was working with. She looked around the room at the other officers that had come with her. "I think maybe we should go and see if the others have any ideas, we're certainly not getting anywhere."

Though the crew of the Condor had been welcomed with open arms, they were still finding it hard to work with other people. They'd been together for so long and had depended on each other for survival that they had a since of family with each other that simply didn't exist with the Voyager crew.

Alyssa looked up at Crystal, "Maybe I can ask Harry for some help, I mean he's pretty smart." She'd worked with him a couple of times, Kathryn had thought it good to try and integrate the Condor crew in by mixing them with the senior officers at first.

"B'Elanna is pretty quick too, I'm sure that she'd have some input." Billy stated; he'd been working closely with her learning the quarks of Voyager's engines.

Crystal smiled, "that sounds like a good plan, we know this enemy and they know this ship, together we can probably figure this out in no time." Crystal as the commanding officer of the Condor had also been trying to get her crew to integrate into the Voyager community. She knew the value of great team work, she'd seen it over and over; she also knew what could happen when people didn't trust each other, or work together well.

-=/\=-

Kathryn stood on a pier facing the water. The wind was blowing slightly causing her hair to dance; she'd decided to wear it down with her simple ocean blue dress. She hadn't dressed up super fancy or casual. She could feel him behind her she turned to face him, "this is really a beautiful spot."

"It sure is," he said testing her some to see how she would react.

He could see the slightest bit of a blush on her cheeks. He wanted her and there was something different in her eyes as she starred up into his. He could see that she wanted him. She took a deep breath and then spoke, "So, where were we this morning?" She playfully smiled, "Oh right I remember." She stood up on her toes and wrapped her hands around his neck pulling him closer to her.

He allowed her to pull him closer to her; he claimed her mouth as he wrapped his arms around her. The kiss was soft and tender just lips at first. They parted and Kathryn sighed then pulled him back to her. This time he took the invitation and parted her lips, he could still taste the sweetness of the wine she'd had. She sighed into his mouth as the kiss grew deeper.

As if on cue the fireworks show that was programmed to be displayed went off just as their kiss broke apart. Kathryn would have just simply stayed starring into his eyes except the irony and humor of the situation got to her. She began cracking up laughing followed by Chakotay; He managed to calm himself down enough to ask her something, "Did you plan that."

She shook her head no as she grabbed onto his arms for support, "pure coincidence." She managed to say. After a few more moments of laughing she managed to calm herself down. She looked back up to him; he had a huge smile on his face as well. She then turned and wrapped his arms around her; the two of them finished watching the firework show in silence, the fact that they were now a couple playing in both of their minds.

Once the firework show was over he accompanied her back to her quarters. He dropped her off and gave her a gentle kiss goodbye before he retired to his own quarters. They were finally a couple, now to just figure out how things were going to work in the long run.


	13. Finding a Place

Chapter Thirteen: Finding a Place

-=/\=-

Chakotay picked Kathryn up at her door in the morning. "How'd you know I'd be ready by now?" She asked curiously.

He grinned, "I can't tell you."

She took stride next to him as they made their way to the mess hall, "And why can't you tell me?"

"Maquis secrete." He laughed as she rolled her eyes at him. They stopped in front of the turbo lift. "Actually, I could hear your shower running through my wall, and I know about how long it takes you to get dressed and put your makeup on. I've only lived next to you for a few years."

She gave him a look that said 'humm' and looked him over before she ducked into the turbo lift.

-=/\=-

"What if we were to try this," Tom stated as he reached over and punched a few buttons on the padd the Crystal was holding.

"I think we're getting closer," Crystal responded.

"Now if we were to lower this," It was now Alyssa's turn to reach over and add something.

Billy bit his lip, "No I don't think that will work, we'd build up too much pressure here." He pointed to something on the padd.

"Not if we reinforce it with durlerium," B'Elanna added.

"No, that would make it too heavy," Harry stated with a sigh.

"Perhaps a polarized metal might be the most logical of choices." The voice of N'Toll the condor's resident vulcan added to the mix.

"That would be a logical choice," Tuvok added to the conversation.

"You know what that might just work," Crystal smiled broadly.

"What do we have here?" A voice from behind the group stated.

"Captain," Crystal stated a bit surprised. "We were just trying to figure out how to reconfigure Voyager's weapons, and we think we've got it." She handed her the data padd that they'd all been working on.

Kathryn looked it over and let Chakotay who was standing just behind her right shoulder look over the specs. She looked up as Tuvok spoke. "The specifications and theory is sound."

"We're thinking of calling them multiphaseic-transdementional torpedoes." Tom smiled; he always liked building new things, though shuttles were more his forte the occasional new weapon design was intriguing, "though we're thinking of shorting that to MTT in battle."

Kathryn raised her eyebrow, "Certainly sounds impressive." She was so glad to see the Condor crew working with the Voyager crew. At first she wondered how well they were going too integrated with the crew; after all it was a combination of now about four original ships.

B'Elanna spoke up, "Now the only thing we have to do is figure out the problem with the casing. T'Noll suggested a polarized metal."

Chakotay had pulled up a chair for Kathryn as well as himself; Kathryn took it and joined in with the conversation. Chakotay was right behind her and they all started taking part in hammering out the details.

-=/\=-

It'd been four days since Voyager had entered a type 3 nebula to avoid a hostel species who they later learned were known as the Katory. Thanks to the information the Condor crew had on the species and the impressive team work of both crews Voyager was now equipped with multiphaseic-transdementional torpedoes and multiphaseic-trnasdementional shielding to ward off the attacks by them. It was now D-Day the Katory ship that had attacked them had maintained their distance away from the nebula but had followed them. There was little doubt in anyone's mind that they were going to be attacked as soon as they left the safety of their hideout.

Kathryn sat in her chair with Chakotay to her left and Crystal who had taken the initiative in preparing Voyager for the attack, to her right. "Bring the new weapons and shields online, Tom prepare to move us out of the nebula maximum warp on my mark."

"Weapons and shields are online" Tuvok reported from his station.

"Course laid in Captain," Tom informed her.

The bridge darkened as Harry initiated a red alert, "Engage" Kathryn stated. Voyager jumped to warp and sure enough the Katory ship matched its speed, only this time they were not alone.

"Two more ships approaching us off the port bow," Harry reported.

"They are firing," Tuvok stated, "Direct hit no damage shields are holding."

Kathryn smiled, and stood, "Hail the lead ship."

"Chanel open" Harry informed her.

"This is Captain Kathryn Janeway of the federation star ship Voyager, as you may have noticed we now have a defense against your weapons. We also have developed a weapon of our own; if you do not disengage your attack we will use it." Kathryn looked back over her shoulder towards the young man at ops.

Harry shook his head, "No response."

"They are firing" Tuvok stated.

Kathryn rolled her eyes and made her way back to her seat. "They always have to do it the hard way. Tuvok target the lead ship's weapons and fire."

"Direct hit their weapons are down." He reported as he looked over his console, "The other ships are disengaging."

Kathryn smiled, "Stand down red alert, and continue course out of their territory."

-=/\=-

Crystal looked up from her meal to see Kathryn standing above her holding a padd out. Her eyes narrowed as she lifted up her arm to take it. "What's this?" she asked curiously.

"You're duty assignment, the Commander and I finished putting it together this morning." Crystal motioned for her to have a seat and she took the one across from her. "We could use someone full time at the science station. You would be part of the senior staff."

"You're sure the person who usually mans the station isn't going to mind me being placed over them?" she asked curiously.

"I've already talked to her about it, besides it'll give her a bit more freedom to spend time with her daughter." She smiled at the mention of Naomi, in a way the child was just as much hers as she was anyone else on Voyager.

"Thank you" She smiled, she'd hoped that she would have a good position on the ship, but after everything that had been going on she wasn't sure that she would.

"And now I'm not just giving you that position because I'm your mother, I'm giving it to you because you earned it and you though you're still quite young have the background and experience to handle it. I also expect the same thing out of you that I do any officer, got it?" she stated now in full captain mode.

Crystal smiled, "Aye Captain, and I wouldn't have expected otherwise."

"Good I'm glad we understand each other, you start first thing in the morning." She gave her a curt nod then dropped the Captain's faced. "Now that that's taken care of what do you say we spend some time together. Tom has a nice program called Sandrine's."

"That sounds like fun," the girl smiled and started to stand. Kathryn followed behind her and the two of them made their way out of the mess hall, Kathryn explaining just what Sandrine's was.

Tom watched the two leave, whatever it was that had been going on originally seemed to have been resolved. When they were right next to each other they looked almost like twins, of course one being older than the other. He looked over his shoulder when he heard something. "Hey there," he smiled it was B'Elanna

"Hey, what were you looking at?" She asked taking a seat next to him.

"Nothing, it's just a moment ago when Crystal and the Captain walked by, I mean they just look so much alike, especially when they're right next to each other." He crossed his arms over his chest.

"You know instead of sitting here wondering maybe we should just out right and ask them?" She suggested as she began eating her meal.

"Oh and how are we supposed to start that conversation, Good morning Captain, how are you doing, oh and we were all wondering, is Crystal your long lost daughter?" Tom stated with a smirk, "If she wasn't her daughter then she certainly wouldn't be too happy with us making that assumption."

"Okay alright, maybe that wouldn't be the best tactic; perhaps I can talk to Chakotay about it. They seem to be pretty close now; maybe if she were she would have told him." She looked at Tom who was grinning even wider now. "What?"

"That's another thing I'm wondering about, have you noticed how much more time they've been spending together lately?" He leaned forward towards her.

"Tom, you're incorrigible." She laughed. "But I'll see what I can dig up, if anything I can drop the hint that people are curious."

Tom smiled and went back to eating, "Thanks."


End file.
